Also, I apologize for this post.

The last couple of days, I had this pimple of my forehead. I rarely have those at my age and my face is relatively smooth at this point. But this pimple was big and right in the middle of my forehead, like a third eye.

Like this guy
FYI – (Despero – DC villain)

I didn’t go to work yesterday but today, I didn’t want it to be noticed so I did my hair a little differently. I put a lot of the front down to cover my forehead and eyes.

Ironically, this hairstyle seemed to garner a lot of attention, attention from almost everyone at work that saw me -_-;

The irony is that I purposely changed my hair style to hide my forehead, but the style itself seemed to draw eyes towards my forehead. It’s quite possible that if I didn’t change my hair style at all, I would have had less people looking.

I dunno, I just found that amusing.

As you may/may not have noticed (over my twitter), something’s been wrong lately.

I had this sharp pain in my abdomen last friday for about 30s-1m….and it’s been generally uncomfortable since (almost a week now). It was getting better (the pain was more mild) but yesterday, I woke up and it was pretty bad. This prompted me to go see the one place I generally avoid at all costs if possible. The doctor.

DUN. DUN. DUNNNNNNNNNNNNN.

After seeing him, I was immediately told to get a walk-in Ultrasound from the hospital. So yesterday, right after going to the doctor, I went to the hospital. I hate that place even more than the doctor.

DUN. DUN. DUNNNNNNNNNNNNN.

Last night, the pain in my abdomen was so unbearable, I somehow fell asleep but ANY movement from me would cause pain to shoot into my brains, pew pew, and wake me up. Needless to say, it was very tough falling asleep. I woke up at 6:30am today too so I could go get an ultrasound at 8:00am (I couldn’t get it yesterday)….I’m sleepy >_< Anyways, I left work early today, the pain started from non-existent in the morning to terrible when I left, around 4:00pm. As I write this, it's pretty bad but I took two advils...hopefully it'll help. I think it's an infection or something, I dunno, it's worse at night than in the day. We'll see what the doctor says tomorrow. All I know is: 1) it's tough to concentrate 2) it's tough to focus on work, so lately I've been trying to work from home to keep up, as well as keep my mind off anything that's potentially really bad 3) it's tough to focus on anything, my mind is so occupied with...stuff lately. Kinda why I dislike the doctor: puts feelings on uneasy and stress and anxiety...but i understand its value: you get better. Still, I'd generally just like the problems to solve themselves if possible
4) there are no visible markings of damage anywhere, no bruise, no trauma, so it’s annoying. And internal, which is kinda scary. I dunno what’s goin on…
But my mind is still sharp, my body can almost do what it could before, but it hurts to walk and sit down….and I’m generally uncomfortable ALL THE TIME but it’s manageable. I tough it out in public, and cry like a little girl watching the Notebook at home.

Anyways, hoping these antibiotics the doctor gave me (without knowing what the problem is….) will do the trick. It’s only my second day taking them…so we’ll see. All I know is I’d gladly take an infection or inflammation over something…..worse.

Stupid body. In my head, I look like Batman but in reality, I look like The Blob.

“Life sucks balls sometimes. And then you die.” says the Pessimist in me.
But the Optimist Prime says “Autobots, Transform and Roll out!”.

I know that joke is reused but it makes me giggle.

in little girl voice “tee hee”

I’ve felt less inclined to study for the last 2 weeks. I have my OOP Book open, on my desk for two weeks but pretty much untouched. I’ve spent a long time playing games and games of DOTA. Some with Z, which is odd in itself, but most alone. I always tend to do this, play DOTA for a while…and then I lose interesting for months. And then later, I pick it up again for a few weeks.

I’ve been watching Prince of Tennis: National Championship again lately…I realized that in all the time I’ve had it, for some reason, I never had the Shitenhouji VS Seishun Gakuen Doubles 2 match…the comedy twins VS Kaidoh and Momoshiro. I really enjoyed the Fuji match VS Shirashi…I love watching Fuji play.

Sitting here, tired outta my mind but I have to work overtime today, at 10:30 for a release…that’s the only thing keeping me awake at the moment.

Going to a Winterlicious place tomorrow night, which happens to be Super Bowl night! Boourns. My next week is really busy work-wise…

Anyways, I think I’ll really try to study for a bit today…ease back in to that studying groove.

Until next time… :)

And also why I’ve been dragging my feet lately when I walk.
And also why I’m tired and miserable every morning.
And also why I’m so tired when I get home.

I thought it was Seasonal Depression.
I thought it was that my work hours changed from 9am to 5pm VS 10-10:30am to 6-6:30pm.
I thought it was the thing nagging in the back of my head the last few weeks (it actually may have been that…but I don’t think so).

The reason is that ever since New Years, I haven’t been walking to and from work

How does that affect one thing affect all those other things?

To answer why I haven’t been blogging:
My walk to and from work is the best way for me to be alone with my thoughts, away from a computer and it’s distractions. It’s the best way to think. Today was slightly warmer than usual so I decided to walk to work. Well, it was also to clear my head a bit. This is also the reason I decided to walk back, why I discovered why these 4 things have been affecting me, and why I’m writing this blog post, immediately as I got home.

It’s all about getting away from in all and just thinking. If I don’t walk to/from work, I’m never alone long enough to think…

To answer why I’ve been dragging my feet lately when I walk:
I don’t drag my feet when I walk on pavement, I ruin my shoes and it’s more difficult than not dragging my feet. My lazy habits from taking the subway have begun to affect me elsewhere. Everything has been lazy lately.

To answer why I’m tired and miserable every morning:
My walk is my wake up. When I start my brain, when I enjoy nature, the weather, the sites, the people. It’s also my wake up going home.
When I take the subway, it’s a shorter ride, my mind is on mute…

To answer why I’m so tired when I get home:
Same thing as above.

At least I’ve figured it out. Walk is the key.
Walk is key to functioning properly at work. Walk is key to a sharper mind.

I accomplished so much just by walking home :) I need to stop being lazy and afraid of the cold and stuff…and get back to the routine I had the rest of the last year. My productive year.

/off to do something productive :)