Choose Your Theme
Warren Shea

Archive for December, 2011

An analogy for chopping someone.

Tuesday, December 13th, 2011 at 11:24 pm

First, let me explain chopping, as I’ve only recently discovered this slang this year (I think I’m two thousand and late).
To chop – To court, to flirt, to mack. They all mean the same thing.

Chopping comes with an analogy of holding something for chopping though.
“I brought out my big axe for chopping this girl” means “I was really using my A game to hit on her”
“I was only chopping this girl with a plastic butter knife cuz I didn’t have much sleep” means “I’m too tired to flirt with this girl”
“This girl was fugly so I didn’t even bring my axe” means “I’m just going to be friends with this ugly girl”
I think this is me talking ghetto or gangsta, with a hint of my regular, well behaved self so you’ll have to pardon my gangsta english. It’s not natural to me.

Anyways – to my analogy.
When I was in high school, I used to equate chopping to being in a war.
The guy brings out his army. He plans his methods of attack. He tries to attack from different angles. He covers as much area as he can. He sends all his troops out to get the girl/win the war. He does all this sh!t. But the girl on the other side of the battle just has to press the “NUKE” button to win the war. It’s THAT easy for her.

It equates to basically – A guy can spend lots of time and money chopping a girl. He can play subtle games, be manipulative, cock block other guys, he can plan things out, read into signals, I dunno, whatever guys do when they chop. He can do everything in his power to get a girl to like him. But when he asks her to take the next step (go out, date, be boyfriend/girlfriend), it’s a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’ from the girl that can end the war. Either the guy wins the battle or he cries out “Nooooooooo!!!!*” and everything he’s done is blown to smithereens.

.
.
.

Sometimes listening to girls is really weird, they’re so oblivious to a guy’s intentions [and no, it’s not always about sex]. But I guess it’s fair that men don’t really understand women either.

I can’t say my track record with women is great. I’ve generally tended to often go for girls that were already in relationships (homewrecker!). The (best?) part about that was….I never really put myself out there to be rejected for no reason. As in, if I ever told anyone I liked them, there was always either “Uh, I’m in a relationship…you idiot” or something like that. An excuse. I can’t say I’ve ever been flat out rejected because I never really went with someone full force, where there wasn’t an excuse of some sort for being together. I guess that’s a way of protecting myself from true failure.

I’m glad I’m out of the game. Being out there is not fun and I imagine it’s pretty difficult at this point [at the age of 30ish] for a guy where many of the girls our age are married or in relationships. Yes, there are eligible single girls out there. But you have to find them out of the non-eligible single girls. Of course, you can always go for a younger girl. That’s what I’d suggest for a guy my age…but I always did like younger girls. Except in one case.

I’ve had relationships on my mind lately. Engaged couples and single guys and girls. People that are looking for that special someone and people that have just crossed a special someone off their list of people to be with (a break up). I’ve been thinking about that stuff a lot lately…how some people don’t know how to get what they want. Or how people don’t know what they want. I always find it bizarre how two people can care about each other, but after they break up – hate each others guts. It occurs in messy divorces, it occurs in teenage romances, it occurs all the time. I guess people change, but I just find it a bit strange that you can love someone at one point, and hate them later.

As I was saying, I’ve been thinking a lot about how people don’t know how to get what they want. I guess that’s easy to say from the other side. I’ve got a good thing going as long as I don’t blow it. I’ve never thought of love or a relationship as a race, it comes when it comes. I don’t think you need to look for it actively but you need to actively make yourself open to be looked at. If that makes sense. I think love finds you whenever it does, sometimes it just takes a little longer than usual. But that was said given my old, and ironically younger mindset. At this age, love can be tougher to find than 10 or 5 years ago.

I just want all my friends to be happy, in loving relationships :) And I will try my best to ensure that happens for all my friends. Is that too much to ask?

Prince of Tennis : My Dream Junior Invitational Team [Part II]

Tuesday, December 13th, 2011 at 1:12 am

I went to this Japanese Library today. I discovered it a few weeks ago and borrowed 3 volumes of Hikaru no Go and 2 volumes of Bakuman. I returned those today, and took out 5 random volumes of Prince of Tennis manga. I didn’t read the regular PoT manga – just the last few chapters (before the anime came out) and the New Prince of Tennis manga that they have out now.

Anyways, I watched a random PoT episode during dinner and it happened to be a Junior Invitational Team episode. And then I randomly remembered…that the Junior Invitational Team is usually based on the members that make it to the Nationals right? It was just filler in the anime and done before the Nationals in the anime….but supposing the Junior Invitational occurred after the Nationals?

My original dream team (of the players up until the Nationals was already described here): Prince of Tennis : My Dream Junior Invitational Team + Naruto : Rock Lee VS the Chuunin Exam. This is at their current skill level of the series (before the Nationals).
Yukimura Seiichi (S1)
Tezuka Kuministu (S2)
Echizen Ryoma (S3)
Atobe Keigo & Fuji Syusuke (D1)
Sanada Genichirou & Kirihara Akaya (D2)
Tachibana Kippei (R)

So what if the members were based on all the members from the Nationals too [at the point of skill level just after the Nationals] ?

[Note] : While making my list, I realized that there are only 2 new teams of characters, the characters from Higa Middle School and the characters from Shitenhoji…so the list is actually pretty similar. Tho there are quite a few skilled players from Shitenhoji.

Anyways, let’s start thinking of contenders [15]:
Tezuka Kuministu [Seigaku]
Echizen Ryoma [Seigaku]
Fuji Syusuke [Seigaku]
Yukimura Seiichi [Rikkaidai]
Sanada Genichirou [Rikkaidai]
Renji Yanagi [Rikkaidai]
Kirihara Akaya [Rikkaidai]
Tachibana Kippei [Fudomine]
Kiyosumi Sengoku [Yamabuki]
Akutsu Jin [Yamabuki]
Atobe Keigo [Hyotei Academy]
Oshitari Yushi [Hyotei Academy]
Kintaro Toyama [Shitenhoji]
Shiraishi Kuranosuke [Shitenhoji]
Chitose Senri [Shitenhoji]

I dunno if Akutsu Jin should be there among the rest…probably not, oh well, he gets cut in the next list:
Cutting the guys that I don’t think are as good as the others gives me these [10]
Tezuka Kuministu [Seigaku]
Echizen Ryoma [Seigaku]
Fuji Syusuke [Seigaku]
Yukimura Seiichi [Rikkaidai]
Sanada Genichirou [Rikkaidai]
Shiraishi Kuranosuke [Shitenhoji]
Kintaro Toyama [Shitenhoji]
Maybe – Tachibana Kippei [Fudomine]
Maybe – Kirihara Akaya [Rikkaidai]
Maybe – Atobe Keigo [Hyotei Academy]

I need 8 tho….I think I’ll cut Kirihara Akaya and Tachibana Kippei. I think they’re the weakest of this group.
Now, looking at these 8….who’s S1 to S3 [Singles] and D1 and D2 [Doubles] and R [Reserve]…
Hmmm….okay this is my lineup. I’m not TOO happy about some of the choices though.

S1 – Echizen Ryoma [Seigaku]
S2 – Yukimura Seiichi [Rikkaidai]
S3 – Kintaro Toyama [Shitenhoji]
D1 – Fuji Syusuke [Seigaku] & Shiraishi Kuranosuke [Shitenhoji]
D2 – Tezuka Kuministu [Seigaku] & Sanada Genichirou [Rikkaidai]
R – Atobe Keigo [Hyotei Academy]

I think S1 and S2 are givens. No rational behind that.
I really struggled with S3…Kintaro didn’t really do well against Yukimura, S2. But given the fight he put up with Echizen just before, I think he could have taken Tezuka or Sanada, my contenders for S3. Atobe Keigo fits nicely into the Reserve spot because while he’s strong, Tezuka/Sanada level, I don’t think he’s there yet with everyone else. I’d be curious how he’d play against Kintaro or Shiraishi though.
The real fun is D1 and D2. While I believe that the D2 members, Tezuka and Sanada are stronger than Fuji and Shiraishi individually, I think that Fuji and Shiraishi would have much better teamwork than Tezuka and Sanada, who are both skilled but definitely individual type players.

I <3 Fuji. I think he could beat everyone except Echizen and Yukimura....but I like that his personality could do Singles and Doubles. I think his greatest asset on the team is being able to play doubles whereas everyone else is more of a Singles player. For D2, Tezuka and Sanada is kinda like putting Sanada and Atobe together...except with the latter, neither really respected one another. Atobe didn't respect Sanada's play and Sanada didn't think Atobe was good enough. On the other hand, Sanada knows Tezuka is good enough, and would thus respect him. Tezuka, not one to get careless, would play well with anyone...but his play style is complete, and thus better suited for someone that knows him and is less impulsive [Sanada > Atobe].

I would like a Reserve Doubles to be Echizen and Kintaro cuz I think a double super rookie combo would be awesome. It’s unfortunate though, because Echizen is bad at doubles.

What do you think of my list? Agree/Disagree?

/off to watch something

Confidence in my voice.

Thursday, December 8th, 2011 at 2:35 am

I’m not referring to singing voice here. I’m finding as I grow older that I’m more confident in my voice. By that, I mean I have more confidence in voicing my concerns, my opinions, my advice, my knowledge.

I don’t think I ever had trouble voicing things I knew. I remember in Grade 4 going up to the blackboard to teach division, having learnt it well before we learned it in elementary school.
In early high school, I had tutored math. I was really shy at it…at first. But I was always strong at the teaching math part, just not the talking to students about non-math. I believe Kumon + my high school friends/life were the 2 most influential aspects to coming out of my shell.

But I can’t say I was ever really comfortable with my opinions until recently. I’ve lead a somewhat sheltered life. I don’t think I was ever one of the cool kids…even if my friends were the cool kids. I was probably the weird one of them most of the time. Even with my co-workers, I’m probably the weird one. Hm. Eccentric, not weird. Eccentric. Anyways, I haven’t done a lot of things in my life when everyone else did them…I had bubble tea for the first time well after (months after) it was popular. I didn’t go clubbing until late first (?) or second year of uni whereas most other people went as soon as they entered college/university. When my friends started drinking, I tried but didn’t like it cuz it tended to put me to sleep and give me headaches. (Obviously, I’m very different now…10 years too late). My first, and only *real* relationship was started when I was 22, later than most (but not as late as some). While most of my friends have traveled many places, I’m still not one to travel. Unfortunately (for Z), I don’t know if that will ever change. The only thing I like about travelling is staying in a hotel (I feel so special!).

Anyways, I’m just…late to things. And with that, comes the lack of knowledge to accurately voice my opinion on things. Also the fact that I don’t know squat about religion, politics, world news, (and many more things).

Still, over time I’ve been able to gradually learn and catch up to a point that I feel confident in giving myself a voice. Work has helped a lot. I know that as little as 5 years ago, I had peer evaluations that say I was shy and that I needed to speak up more often, because I had good ideas but was afraid to express them. Truer words have never been spoken. I can’t say that this comment applies to me now though. I think the combination of work and doing well at work, as well as being in a relationship which gave me more confidence in life, as well as talking to women (yes, seriously…i used to be very very bad at it…) helped a lot.

But I think what really helped solidify my voice has been this blog.

It’s a wonderful feeling being able to express myself through the written word, in which I’ve been historically poor at, and being not only praised, but connecting with other individuals. To write about anything and everything about life, and having that occasional post touch someone. I’ve had co-workers occasionally, or even regularly read my blog. I’ve occasionally sent posts to co-workers to inspire them (and successfully done so). I mean, I write a lot of stuff. Most of it crap or updates about life or whatever. But sometimes I’ll write something that applies not only to myself, but to other people. To give them something to think about that they may not have. It’s just great to be able to write about everything…and have someone randomly say something about my writing. That they like reading my blog. Or that they like my writing style. I don’t know where my faults are (other than lack of proof reading and many grammatical errors) but I know I grow with everything I write. I’m able to organize and express my thoughts better and more clearly.

I know I haven’t blogged as much about anything real lately, before this month. It was a dry spell on this blog and to be honest, I didn’t seem to really care. Even now, I feel I’m slowly losing motivation to keep this blog up to date. But that doesn’t mean I want to stop now, or ever.

It’s never a bad thing to keep a journal, or just to have an emotional outlet. These blog posts aren’t deep talks but they can be pretty close sometimes.

Okay, time to sleep.

Thanks for reading everyone. I hope my writing has helped motivate you, given you a smile, and even helped you grow, just as it has helped me. I started blogging almost 2 years ago (1 year, 10 months) and it’s been a wild journey. I never knew I would have so much fun writing and sharing my thoughts with others.

Useless people

Sunday, December 4th, 2011 at 4:33 am

I’m starting to use the term “Useless people” more often as one of my new friends, of whom I’ve been frequently having deep talks with, often cries out “I HATE USELESS PEOPLE”.

I think her definition of a useless person is different than mine though. She claims that a useless person is a dependent person. Unable to think or make decisions on his/her own, unable to live life without a boyfriend/girlfriend. Basically, someone that can’t take care of him/herself.

I believe my definition of “Useless people” are those who do not contribute anything to society. Or, in an even more personal way: those who do not contribute anything to me. And by that, I mean those who could have no way of benefiting me in any way.

That’s not meant to sound selfish. To go with my last post, I think that you need to cut people off that are detrimental to you. As far as a useless person is concerned, they’re just….more of an existence that doesn’t affect you. They are people who’s existence doesn’t seem to matter in any universal sense. That’s not to say that this is true, but I mean…it’s true as far as you’re concerned.

I’d shudder to believe that there’s a single person on this planet that doesn’t have some type of significance to other people in the world. That there’s a single person without a friend, or someone of who they can talk to and even be relied on. No, I don’t believe a normal person like that exists. But they’re just useless….TO YOU. And that’s fine. I’m fairly certain I’m quite useless to some people around me….(probably though, because I’m such a jerk that I’d knowingly be useless to them :D). But honestly speaking, if I were to cease my existence, there are some people that know me, may even be my friend (on Facebook), but my passing would not have any significance to them. And that’s okay. Realistic even.

Anyways…there’s no point to this. I just wanted to talk about the term as I used it in my last post, and I’ve been thinking about it lately.

On a side note/rant: when I was younger, I was stuck in the car with my brother, driving from Ottawa to Toronto. I was in high school and had obviously done something to displease him, though the reason escapes me. Anyways, he spent much of the drive angrily calling my “useless”. “You’re useless” he would yell, and then discuss why it was true. It was one of the longest rides of my life, I remember both my anger, helplessness, sadly my feeling of defeat for believing he was actually right (I was younger at the time, my self worth wasn’t what it is now), and my frustration for not saying anything back, just holding it in and taking the verbal abuse. It’s one of my worst memories of my entire life and one, if not the, reason I still no longer maintain a good relationship with my brother. Though he’s likely forgotten, I’m not one to forgive and forget so easily. It’s one of the main reasons that I declined being his best man for his wedding (yes, i know….who does that? it’s so mean/sad…). But at the time, I could not and would not see myself giving a speech, saying good things about him on his wedding day to his friends and family. No, I couldn’t lie to everyone. It’s not a decision I regret as, like I said, I still cannot forgive this moment. There’s was actually a recent time in which he also yelled at me, in my own condo no less. Some things never change it seems…

Hah, going back to “Cutting him off”, yes. I did that as much as a brother could. No, I don’t hate him. I don’t wish him harm or anything, but he’s not someone I would choose to have in my life. If we weren’t related, he wouldn’t be my friend. I tolerate his presence, even more so because of his two kids (my niece and nephew) but I don’t enjoy it. I cannot/will not spend time alone with him. And he’s no longer welcome in my condo alone, despite not knowing this and often wanting to ‘crash’ (which leads to me lying and saying he can’t, or we’re out of town or something).

Anyways, sorry to get intense, personal, and emotional. The term “useless” has always been a word that brings back bad memories and feeling. I don’t think there’s any word out there that makes me recall such anger as that word. Fortunately, I don’t hear it too often. Except my friend, who seems to use it often, but in a somewhat comical tone…

Anyways, two blog posts. I was alone with my thoughts for a good 11 hours today. I walked around for at least 2 or 3 hours. And I drove around for about 2 hours. Lots of time to reflect on the past, the people around me, the mistakes I’ve made, the potential futures I may have, the people I wish were still in my life.

I even looked up at the stars for a good 5 minutes, thinking about the light I was seeing and how it was finally reaching me after so long. As in, I probably wasn’t alive when the light was created. Actually, my knowledge of speed of light and light years (which is a distance, not a time) is limited at best so I’m not sure if that statement is true. But I was thinking just how…insignificant all my problems were in the grand scheme of the universe. But then, in contrast, how important all my problems were in the grand scheme of my life. I guess it’s all relative. (That’s my double entendre pun, as I discuss the relativity between the universe and my life…in the same paragraph that I discuss the speed of light). I didn’t say it was a good pun. It’s not even ‘ha ha’ funny >_<

Cutting people off

Sunday, December 4th, 2011 at 3:31 am

“You’re dead to me”

Let me explain (tho I’m not sure I need to). The quote doesn’t mean I would do harm to him/her/them. And I don’t mean that they should die. And I’m not wishing them dead either.
It means that “as far as I’m concerned, you no longer exist to me in any way important”.

It’s not a hard concept to grasp. Occasionally, someone in your life will do something or multiple things that make you realize they have no aspect of importance to your life. They’re not beneficial in any way, and only a hindrance to your time, your emotional state, your monetary situation, your social status, whatever.

They don’t help. They take advantage of you. They endlessly complain. They make you dumber. They make you angrier. All they do is negatively impact your life.

It’s time to cut them off.

You don’t need to necessarily say “You’re dead to me” obviously :) You just ignore their existence a little more…

While I’ve cut many people in my life, for many reasons…there have been a few people in my life recently that I’m finding more a burden than blessing. Despite them being decent people…they’re occasionally causing me unnecessary drama, or making me feel bad about myself. I’ve been ‘hand holding’ some of these people lately, babying them….but I think it’s time to stop. People don’t grow if they don’t allow themselves to grow.

Side rant: It’s not that I don’t like helping people at work, but I don’t like answering questions that people can figure out themselves if they just spend time. I have one guy always ask me stuff that I know he can figure out, because he doesn’t wanna spend the time to debug. It’s faster, and easier to ask me. Well….yes, it’s faster and easier for him but it’s simply a hindrance to me. He doesn’t care tho. Sighhhhh. Makes me >:( . Oh well, I’m sort of a jerk to him/make fun of him so maybe he’ll stop asking me. Of the 2 senior developers, I’m definitely not the nice one :P Yes, it’s petty and mean but that’s the solution I’ve come up with…I think it’s working, so whatever :)

Anyways, I’m just tired of hand holding adults. I mean, despite using the term “adult”, there are always those who behave more like children or teenagers than mature adults, regardless of age. I call those people FAIL HUMANS. I mean, I get that sometimes people need hand holding….but sometimes it’s just really annoying/frustrating. If only some people had this thing called “Common Sense” and “Courtesy”.
In some cases, some people I know have neither. And I’ve lost all use for their friendship in my life.

Squinting my eyes, I whisper “You’re dead to me” under my breath as I think of them.

I just have to remember…to ignore the useless people rather than humor them or give in to their negativity at a moment’s weakness. It’s difficult to stay alert at all times after all.