There was a time when I wouldn’t get sick in an entire year. I think this year, I’ve been sick with the flu twice. The first time, around X-Mas, knocked me on my ass good. I was out for 5 or 6 days apparently.
This time seems much less severe…i’m feeling a lot better, even after about 36 hours from initial onset of symptoms. Hopefully I’m in recovery mode and the flu doesn’t rebound in strength.
I hate this feeling. I hate that everything tastes different, that the salts are much more muted. I hate that I can mindlessly stare at the window for 3 minutes without any rational thought…because i’m 1/2 delirious and half asleep. I hate that my body aches (fortunately, it feels pretty okay right now). I hate that I’m cold during regular temperatures. I hate how I miss work, but still get like, 60 emails a day.
I’ve been pushing myself too hard lately. I’m working almost every weekend. I haven’t done personal dev since my vacation, in literally about a month. I’m stressed. Stressed like I was stressed in school stressed…which never happens for work.
I have social commitments in the near future…work commitments…I’m just stretched too thin and I can’t take it anymore. Hopefully, I’ll be okay in November….
Sometimes I wish my work ethic wasn’t as high as it is. That I could just, one day, be like “whatever” for the work projects I’m on. That I could drop the ball on projects, miss deadlines, become unreliable….just so that I could have a bit of an easier life.
Actually, while I’m wishing for stuff, I wish I was surrounded by people as competent, or more or less competent, than me on a regular basis. It really sucks having to shoulder more work because people aren’t knowledgeable enough, or people don’t give a sh!t, or people just make stupid careless errors that, upon seeing, I have to fix. I’m just getting tired of being faced with disappointment all the time. Disappointment that people can’t do their job properly. Disappointment that some people, more often than not, are unreliable.
But then again, I also have a few key people….that are solid, and reliable. I can think of….5 or 10 people, out of 60, that I not only enjoy working with, but trust completely. And that…that’s a rare thing. Still, it’d be nice if that number were reversed. That must be how it’s like at Google :) Ah…someday….I will work there….as a janitor….. *dreams*