Just saw The Internship (Vince Vaughn, Owen Wilson, at Google). It’s a pretty good feel-good movie. Lots of nerd and geek references throughout the movie that I get – which is exactly why I wanted to watch this movie. To see what it’s like at Google. And I gotta say – it looks pretty interesting and awesome.

I’m envious. If I were, to put it bluntly, better than I am, could Google have been a possibility? Could Microsoft or any of these companies? Was my potential wasted or did I reach my potential only to fall short? I’m pretty sure it’s both…and unfortunately, I way past my prime to fix it. Ah youth, the more important aspect of that is the time you have…I wish I could tell younger me that one day you blink, and the next day, you’re an old man writing a sad old blog post about youth.

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It’s annoying – at work, sometimes I feel like I’m the smartest person in the room and sometimes I feel like I’m just a kid and I don’t know sh!t. Sometimes I’m giving advice, sometimes I’m the technical go to, the problem solver, the one with all the solutions – and sometimes I’m in a room where my ideas are just plain awful and I know they’re bad but I can’t come up with anything better. But I guess my whole point is, I can’t tell if I should be giving any advice, given how sometimes, I feel like the stupidest person in the room (any to clarify, I’m not talking book smart, I’m also talking street smart, people smart, corporate smart, everything).

Sometimes I feel like I deserve where I am, sometimes I feel like I’m not ready…it was so much easier when “I could just not know what the fuck I was doing cuz…whatever”.
But I don’t feel that way anymore…the responsibility, the ownership – it can be maddening.

No resolution here, just some ol’ rants about feelings and stuff.

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This blogging everyday thing is fun. Every day, at midnight approach, I’m like ‘oh shit’ and I start writing about anything and it writes itself… :)
I think I should keep some blogging rule, like I used to in the ol’ days. Always blog on the 10th, 20th, and 30th day or something.