Okay. I came to the realization that studying and learning for me is similar to how I play (console) games. I read (guides) and explore everything extremely slowly and thoroughly so that I only have to do things once. I try to understand things completely, 100%. I hate going back to things. This all leads back to some time in highschool, playing Final Fantasy VII for 56 hours and beating it but realizing I did a sh!tty job – it was my first RPG game! – and wanting to replay it but better and correctly a second time. It’s a lesson I learned that really, affected my whole learning process and how I do things.

The problem is that with a short attention span and the gemini thing, I start projects all the time and never finish. I’m always looking for the new, interesting thing to do. Something challenging. I’ll build the 75% hard part of a website but when it comes to alt tagging the images, titling the links, IE6 browser CSS styling, manual/tedious data entry, etc., I just drop the project and look for something else to do. The projects rarely get finished…but I don’t really care, my interest has moved on.

Now, if I re-pick something up after a while and partially forget things, I go and reread everything from the beginning. I don’t want to go into Part 2 of something without remembering exactly what happened in Part 1.

For Metal Gear Solid, I played it over and over. I got 100%, Bandanna and Stealth Camo. In my prime, I beat it in 2.5 hours.
For Metal Gear Solid 2, I played Snake’s Tanker level on Very Easy, Easy, Normal, Hard, Extreme. I played Raiden’s stuff on Very Easy, Easy, Normal…and then lost interest…
The thing is, because I never 100% completed MGS2, I’ve never played MGS3 or MGS4. I’m missing out on so much…because of how I do things.

For Sky’s Content, I read up to chapter…10 or 12 or something….kind of forgot what happened and then when I wanted to start it again, I reread everything (1-12) so that I would feel comfortable reading the rest (13-16).

For Toy Story 3, I rewatched Toy Story 1 and 2 the weekend before watching it.

I guess it’s part of being a perfectionist….I need my 100% in games or it bothers the crap out of me. I’m so glad I refused to get into Achievements for WoW, knowing it would absolutely destroy me if I went for it. Will Power and Common Sense +1.

For this .NET 3.5 book, I read a few hundred pages. Stopped and started another .NET 3.5 book. Now, I’m going back to the original book…and I started over again because I hadn’t looked at any .NET for around 4 months. And even now, I’m still reading, making notes on this book…until my interest goes to something else but that’s looking doubtful at this point.

I feel like I could do a .NET site and do it well. But I’ve seen code (at work) written by a pro developer…and while I can read and edit it, I can’t create what he did from scratch. So I don’t feel like I’m good enough. So I don’t want to start developing anything. I mean, why develop something as I’m learning, only to have to go back and fix it. Now, I understand that development is a growing process…
I will never reach a point where I will know EVERYTHING and feel I have nothing to learn. I should be developing now in .NET for experience…but right now, I still feel like I’ve got much to learn so the above applies. While I can do regular .NET, controls, database stuff, LINQ to SQL and LINQ to XML….I still don’t feel like it’s enough. I’ve seen good code and I’m not at that level yet. So I want to get good enough so that I’m close to that level before I start developing…does this make sense?

Once I finish reading this book, I’ll start my other (harder) book and actually start developing my EPIC SITE. Reading and studying 1 entire book should provide enough skill that I can feel comfortable enough with my skill.

Anyways…that’s how my .NET is going. I’m really understanding things really well a second time around. This really reminds me of how school was. Not really understanding stuff…and then before exams, reviewing things and everything made sense….and then I’d go into an exam and choke >_< Procrastination was always my Achilles Heel…well, I felt that it went along with choking and being unprepared for stuff..but that’s a whole other story. /back to reading textbooks on vacation days. I haven’t left the condo in 48 hours. I haven’t even opened a window. Probably not a healthy thing….