I was out all day with my high school friends…spent all of dinner talking about work, relationships and weddings. I realize the significant shift in conversation these last few years, it’s no longer about a show or some music or…drama with people you aren’t that close with. It’s all very…mature. And I love it. I’ve never been one to talk about trending topics, I live in my own little world compared to my friends. Sure, some people watch anime, some read comic books, some people do computer stuff, some people play video games….but no one does all of them out of my friends. Except me. They all have more in common with each other than I have with any one of them….that’s how it is. I’m the odd one out. It’s kinda funny because Zena’s friends are more like me than my close and best friends. I would probably have gotten closer to them if I didn’t already love my current circle. Having too many friends…and going out frequently….is too exhausting for an anti-socialite such as myself. I was never looking for new friends either…despite the differences with my current friends, they are still the best friends I could ever ask for. All of them.

Anyways, I drove my soon-to-be-married friend home…and we talked about our respective relationships. We talked about both of our relationships as well as an already married couple…and how all 3 of us guys had this moment…not a specific amount of time, but this…moment in your life when you realize you’re with “the one”. I never really…thought about it, I always assumed I would be with Z and that’s the way things were gonna play out. But I never thought about this “the one” stuff. But these last few weeks…I realized it. My “moment” wasn’t a specific, sudden realization. I don’t know how long it took but I feel it now, I realize it now…when I didn’t feel it a few months ago. It’s not to say I didn’t love her before, it’s just saying I might not have realized her true significance to me. But things have changed. I’ve changed. I see it now that every person that gets married probably has this moment…

There’s still so much to learn about life and love. I’m feel so…superior sometimes…that I feel that I’ve matured faster than others…that I’ve thought about things my peers have never thought about…that I’ve used my thinking time more wisely, that I know it all and everyone else is playing catch up. I believe it comes with being an introvert and isolated. When left alone with my thoughts too long, my mind tends to wander and think about things I believe others have never considered. I feel like I’ve trained myself to think faster than others, to be quicker, to see five solutions to a problem in the same time others might only find one. But there are some things…you just can’t out think, no matter how much time you have. There are some things in life you have to experience…you can imagine them, but you can’t understand them. Like when Robin Williams talked to Matt Damon in Good Will Hunting. He analyzed Matt, telling him he could read, memorize, and quote about love…but he couldn’t understand, he couldn’t feel. And it was true.

I feel humbled…my friend, telling me, literally applauding me for discovering something he discovered years ago (which is why he’s getting married in 2 weeks, and I’m not). It’s not a race to discover this moment…in everyone’s case (er, of the 3 we discussed), it took some kind of meaningful event or person to make the realization. A catalyst to start the change. I have been going out with Zena almost 6 years and it just so happened I was at this point in my life that the catalyst took effect. But…it could have just as easily have happened sooner…or later. Maybe I was looking for it…actually…I kind of was…but I never foresaw this “moment”. I had to discover it on my own…realize it. Understand it. Feel it.

There is still so much to learn…I’m excited to experience more realizations like this. And excited to talk to my friends about them…I may feel superior to a lot of people in a lot of ways…but love is not one of them. I’m doing well but there’s still so much to catch up on. Another era in my life is just about to start. Specifically, on Wednesday. And I’m ready for it. I wasn’t 3 years ago. I wasn’t 4 months ago. But I’m ready now.