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Warren Shea

Archive for February, 2010

What to do this morning…another irrelevant post

Saturday, February 20th, 2010 at 10:52 am

I’ve moved all my images to my current domain, a fairly unused webspace, horderockcafe.com

I think I prefer the images here rather than on blogger because they re-optimize/re-size images. Somewhat useful. Somewhat annoying.

Ugh, looking at http://www.horderockcafe.com/version_1/ really makes me feel the need to do a new site. I did the above in 2 days (design and dev) during exam time in 2006 because I was applying for a web job and only had 2 days notice before I had to show them something. In 2006, my 2003 site (azn_prometheus) was simply too old and sh!tty to send.

It’s funny how at work, I can code an HTML mockup in like, 1/2 a day easy. I pride myself on my HTML page creation speed, browser compatibility, easy to read source, etc. I work fast, I’m accurate, I’m frakkin’ good. However, it takes me forever to do/code my own site…I guess there are distractions at home and no deadline so it’s easier to procrastinate. Also, despite having a general idea of the site I want, having to design it, while really fun, kills the developer in me. My design side and development side are always fighting.

Anyways, I think I’ll write one more blog this morning. Something that’s been on my mind recently. I find that I’m always either writing right when I wake up, or during my prime awake times (right before I sleep).

My mind is empty + The best purchase ever.

Wednesday, February 17th, 2010 at 1:35 am

I’ve hit a writing and thought dry spell. I haven’t had any urge to write in a few days. My girlfriend has been around for a few days too, I’m not sure if that’s proof of what I discussed here or coincidence. Regardless, I don’t want to slow down in my blogging otherwise 3 days turns into 1 week, 1 week to 1 month and next thing you know, I don’t blog anymore.

I’m going to dig up one of my old drafts and write about it – that’s what they’re here for. Bare with me, there’s a lack of passion to the following post and writing without passion feels really…bleh. I don’t like it.

The best purchase ever.

I think one of the smartest things I’ve ever done was spend an extra few hundred dollars on my mattress/bed. My girlfriend and I tested out (by lying down on them – get your mind out of the gutter) mattresses from Sears, Sleep Country, The Bay, everywhere that we could do some tests. The mattress we purchased from Sleep Country was a bit more expensive than we wanted. About a 1/4 of the price more. But I have to say, the investment was definitely worth it.

We (everyone) spends so much time sleeping. Ideally at least a third of our lives. The other two thirds rely heavily on this one third. My sleeping habits have become better lately without WoW and with my new change in lifestyle. No more sleeping between 2:30am to 8:30am on weekdays and 13 hours on weekends (totally 56 hours/week ~ 8 hours/day). While the numbers add up correctly, the sleeping pattern is…I wouldn’t say unhealthy, but could be better. No more being highly irritable during the weekday, bless my co-workers for forgiving me on my less polite days. No more coffee needed to function properly. I’m trying to maintain my standard 8 hours/day, everyday. It kinds sucks because even on weekends, I wake up before noon, something I haven’t been accustomed to since elementary school (yeah, my sleeping patterns have ALWAYS been frakked up).

Sorry, I got a little side tracked. Getting back to this bed thing, I suggest that when you buy your next bed, don’t rush it. Choose carefully and be willing to pay considerably more for a better mattress. You deserve it and trust me, it will return the favor ten-fold. I love my bed. Sleeping on an air mattress and occasionally the couch makes me appreciate it even more. I would jump in-front of a bullet to save my bed. I would rescue my bed from a burning building before I would rescue my girlfriend. I would rather be alone with my bed than be with my girlfriend and my bed. Hey, three’s a crowd.

I know what you’re thinking:
Best. Boyfriend. Ever.

Ironically, this post will probably prevent me from being with my bed for a couple days and I’ll be forced to spend some much needed quality time with my good friend, the couch, of which I usually only game with.

A recurring nightmare

Sunday, February 14th, 2010 at 11:09 am

My eyes suddenly open. I glance around and slowly recognize where I am. The stress I’ve just experienced slowly begins to disappear as my mind begins to throw logic at me, convincing myself that what just happened in my head did not actually happen. My hair and clothes are slightly damp. I’ve just had a nightmare. The same nightmare I have had at least 3 or 4 times a year. Every year.

This is what I felt a few moments ago. I know I said I wouldn’t talk about dreams but I’m going to make an exception because this is a recurring one. The dream and issue is personal so I’m going to use a basketball (I know, wtf eh?) analogy in its stead. The dream plays out like this:

I’m on the court playin’ the game. I’ve got home-court advantage. The score is 68-70 for our opponents. There’s only 4 seconds left in the game. I’ve got the ball between my hands and I’m just behind the 3-point line. I’m wide open. But I’m nervous. I’ve made this shot more times than I can count. But the pressure, the stress, it begins to overwhelm me. I know what I have to do. I take the shot. The ball floats up in the air. Everything slows down. I can feel the crowd hush and stand up, praying the shot is good. It looks good. From my point of view, the angle is perfect. The ball seems to stay afloat forever but it slowly begins to descend from it’s perfect arc. As it approaches the rim, it looks like it’s going to swish. *Boing* The ball bounces off the rim and flies away. Everything picks up speed again. The crowd goes silent. My head and heart drop as I fall to the floor, defeated. I’ve let everyone down. I’ve let myself down. I’ve failed. I wake up.

I open my eyes. My heart still racing, the stress still overwhelming me. My mind starts throwing reasoning and memories at me. “I did make the shot” it tells me. My memories clouded because of what I have just experienced and felt. As I calm down, I realize that I DID MAKE THE SHOT. I won the game. I didn’t let everyone down. I didn’t fail.

SO WHY THE FRAK DO I HAVE A REPEATED NIGHTMARE THAT I DID?

It’s been so many years now since this incident occurred. Everything turned out great. It was a very stressful situation at the time but it turned out okay. Why am I constantly plagued with a feeling that it didn’t?

“People always leave”

Saturday, February 13th, 2010 at 11:09 am

– Peyton Sawyer, One Tree Hill

People are shaped by everything around them. They become who they are because of the experiences they’ve had and the people they meet. But of the people they meet, only a very tiny few will be with them for most of their life. Family, a significant other, a few close friends. What about the other 99.9% of people? Well, they all carry on with their own lives. They walk a different road than you. You cross paths. Or you don’t.

What I’m really trying to get at is that there are some people who make a significant difference in your life for a time. Some people you’re incredibly close with or feel a connection with. But even these people come and go. You only walk the same path for a while.

I’ve been thinking about some of the treasured friends in my life and how they are not in my life anymore. Not because of a falling out, not because they’ve passed on, but simply because you no longer walk the same path as them. Despite even trying to keep in touch, your paths get further and further. It gets harder and harder. Even if you do manage to connect for a brief moment, the lives you had together are long gone. The bond you had, never to be recaptured again. Things change.

I’ve been thinking about the people in my life right now who, sad to say, won’t be in my life forever. Not even very long really, despite being such a significant part of my life right now. I can use my time with them the best I can. But it won’t be enough. I wish that I could walk with them longer on the path they take. I wish they could walk with me. But that won’t happen. Things will change. Our paths will diverge. This is life. People always leave.

I am so Visual Studio 2000 and late

Thursday, February 11th, 2010 at 11:31 pm

I was trying to make an update to a site at work today. It’s currently built on the asp.NET 2.0 framework and created mostly with Visual Studio 2008’s Design view. While spending more time than I should have on such a simple update, I realized that my skill level is simply too low. So low that I can’t figure out the basics of how this site works. I dunno WTF I’m doing. And let’s face it, web is EZ MODE.

I’m so frustrated. I like figuring things out. I’m a good debugger. But I’m so lost here…I haven’t had this feeling in a while. I used to have it studying for exams at UWaterloo…not being able to figure stuff out. It’s not something I’ve felt for a while…and not a feeling I want to reoccur. Argh! So frustrated. Frustrated with myself. I can’t keep blaming WoW for everything but goddammit, what was I thinking for all those years. Life just passed me by.

This weekend is Visual Studio and asp.NET weekend. I’ve read enough manga and fan fiction (sorry Karol, still not caught up on Sky’s). I’ve watched enough movies. I really need to refocus on my web development skill.

This feeling…will not come up again.

Well, it will, but not for the same thing. This I vow! MY PRIDE – YOU WILL BE AVENGED! FOR FREEDOM! FOR JUSTICE! FOR ODIN! FOR ASGARD! FOR THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM!

my posts always end in idiocy.