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Archive for the ‘Past’ Category

Killing with compliments

Thursday, January 24th, 2013 at 12:35 am

Killing with compliments; Parents praise sets children up for failure

This was an interesting read that Z forwarded to me. If you choose to read it, do so now. The rest of the post may not make sense if you do not. You’ve been warned.

I thought the article rang true, particularly to me. My father always emphasized intelligence to me. They often spoke of me being smart and becoming a doctor when I grew up. I guess that’s the same with most asian parents. But I believe I was coddled. Don’t get me wrong, I was smart. But just not that smart. I remember as early as Grade 2, when we did “Math Minute”: as many math questions as you can answer in a minute. Accuracy mattered. We did it every day for the school year. Tracked the scores. I won (best speed AND accuracy in the entire class). *BAM* TAKE THAT OTHER 25 KIDS IN GRADE 2. Grade 4: Teaching kids to divide. The teacher was explaining division to us, and I put my hand up, went infront of the class and explained how it worked. What a keener. Lucky there was no Nelson or Jimbo in my Grade 4 or I would’ve gotten the snot kicked out of me. Yes, I guess I was Martin *shudder* >_<


ANYWAYS, enough of my embarrassing elementary school. And highschool where I also did well in Finite, Algebra & Geometry…(tho did bad in Calculus >_<) Basically, I always thought I was smart. But being smart isn't enough. You have to be hard working. And I think my false sense of smartness security had a negative impact to my work ethic. And as I realized in University, those that weren't as smart as me, that worked harder than me, did better than me (surprise, surprise). I think the biggest detriment in my life was the poor work ethic at a young age. I'm partly to blame for that, but the self-awareness and realization of such a thing would not come to me until I was much older. “You don’t know what you don’t know”. Sometimes you need to be TOLD it. I’m not blaming anyone, other than me, I’m just stating the fact.

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I actually already have a list (in my GMAIL drafts) on what to teach my kids. What to tell them, what not to tell them. I want to help them as much as possible. My parents were there for me. But they were poor with guidance. At worst, they influenced my life negatively, despite their best efforts to help positively. But unfortunately, the results were the same.

I don’t want to make that mistake. After I have kids, every day is a day to adjust yourself as a parent, and as a teacher. I will not fail my children. I will teach them everything I can. Guide them. They can make mistakes, but I don’t want them to grow up on the wrong path. If they’re trouble at 5 years, it’s too late. I’ve done something wrong and need to adjust. Show them the carrot or hit them with the stick, I don’t know. But I have to figure THEM out, figure out how THEY respond to criticism, learning, and follow that. Giving them the carrot when they’d learn better with the stick is not correct. All children and people respond differently. They’re too young to figure it out. You have to figure them out first to achieve the best response.

I will try my best to listen and respond accordingly to a child. Take them to hockey. Take them to soccer. Take them to lego camp (if there is such a thing). Take them to math school. Take them to piano. And then let them figure out what they want to do. If they practice piano – figure out what music they WANT to play, and dedicated 10-30% of their training to learning something fun, for themselves. That’s how Google does it to achieve the best results. That’s how I wish I did it. Piano would have been much more fun if I had been playing music I liked. I can’t change or force my interests on them. But I can support and nourish their interests once they figure out what they are.

I had a discussion with my parents on how I quit Chinese school to go to Math school. And as much as I wish I knew Chinese now, I don’t know where I’d be if I learned that. Chinese did not come easily to me and I struggled with it, both in interest, and in learning. In contrast, math was easy and I was good at it…and that skill helped my entire life – from highschool to university to now. If I were to go back in time and choose my path again, I would again choose math. Not because of where my life is now, but because I was naturally good at it. Better to excel at something than to struggle with a skill and end up being mediocre at best at it. That might as well be useless.

But to counter argue the other point, perhaps quitting something difficult (chinese) and learning something easy (math) was incorrect. Maybe it taught me to take the easy route and/or maybe I never experienced the self-satisfaction or self-confidence I would have gained after learning and achieving something difficult. Who knows.

No conclusion. Left to ponder…

/done blogging for tonight. Time for photography.

…in three years…

Monday, January 7th, 2013 at 1:01 am

Today is a special day for me. It’s the 3rd year anniversary since I quit World of Warcraft. Ironically, I was playing casually last month but that whole phase seems to have gone. I’m not sick anymore and back to doing/working on things that “matter”. I wrote a similar post last year and the year before.

What I’ve done in the last year

worldofwarren.com
2012: 164 posts between Jan 7, 2012 and Jan 7, 2013. On average, roughly 13.7 posts/month. As with last year, falling in line with my hope of 150-200 posts.
2011: 187 posts between Jan 7, 2011 and Jan 7, 2012
2010: 308 posts between Jan 26, 2010 and Jan 7, 2011

warrenshea.com
Completed! Even though one year ago, I was saying this was almost done…but I only finished in May 2012. Anyways, finishing this was a great feat and led me to my next project

kotobishoujo.com
45 – retroactive blog posts
55 – pages including statues
3 – other pages (checklist, faq, contact)

Twitter
2012: 594 (totalling 3425 since Jan 10, 2010)
2011: 1486 (totalling 2831 since Jan 10, 2010)
2010: 1345

Improved development skills

  • Improved quite a bit in jQuery, HTML5, CSS3, AJAX this year mostly due to warrenshea.com
  • Improved a lot in PHP due to the Facebook work project I had including learning the JavaScript/PHP SDK, Facebook App Creation, Like Gates, and Facebook and Twitter Share Dialogs
  • Installed/learned WAMP and Media Wiki

Note: Keep in mind that for 95% of these movies/shows/cartoons, I’m not technically just watching them. They’re just ON while I do other stuff, like dev or photography.
Movies

  • Karate Kid [Rewatch]
  • Catch Me If You Can [Rewatch]
  • Rise of the Planet of the Apes [Rewatch]
  • The Terminal [Rewatch]
  • The Prestige [Rewatch]
  • Karate Kid (2010) [Rewatch]
  • Tremors [Rewatch]
  • Training Day [Rewatch]
  • Superman Returns [Rewatch]
  • Gattaca [Rewatch]
  • Kick-Ass [Rewatch]
  • Back to the Future [Rewatch]
  • Wall-E [Rewatch]
  • Avengers [Rewatch]
  • Star Trek [Rewatch]
  • Men In Black [Rewatch]
  • The Rise of the Planet of the Apes [Rewatch]
  • Memento [Rewatch]
  • Jurassic Park [Rewatch]
  • The Lost World [Rewatch]
  • Jurassic Park III [Rewatch]
  • Good Will Hunting [Rewatch]
  • Gone in 60 Seconds [Rewatch]
  • Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 1 [Rewatch]
  • Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: Secret of the Ooze [Rewatch]
  • Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3 [Rewatch]
  • TMNT [Rewatch]
  • Turtles Forever [Rewatch]
  • Casino Royale [Rewatch]
  • Quantum of Solace [Rewatch]
  • Skyfall
  • Independence Day [Rewatch]
  • Jurassic Park [Rewatch]
  • Catch Me If You Can [Rewatch]
  • The King’s Speech [Rewatch]
  • Pursuit of Happyness [Rewatch]
  • Star Wars IV: A New Hope [Rewatch]
  • Iron Man [Rewatch]
  • City of God
  • The Butterfly Effect
  • Indie Game The Movie
  • The Goonies
  • The Illusionist
  • The Prestige
  • Anchorman
  • Avengers [Rewatch]
  • Amazing Spider-man
  • Brave
  • Dark Knight Rises
  • Spider-Man [Rewatch]
  • Spider-Man 2 [Rewatch]
  • Spider-Man 3 [Rewatch]
  • Jiro Dream of Sushi
  • Avengers
  • Titanic 3D
  • Titanic [Rewatch]
  • Scott Pilgrim [Rewatch]
  • Battle Royale [Rewatch]
  • Up in the Air
  • The Godfather Part III
  • Show

    • House S1-S7 [Rewatch], S8
    • The Walking Dead S1-S3
    • Gilmore Girls S1-S7
    • Glee S1-S2 [Rewatch], S3
    • Pushing Daisies S1-S2
    • Hell’s Kitchen S9 [Rewatch]
    • Breaking Bad S1-S5 [Rewatch]
    • MasterChef S3 [Rewtach]
    • Dawson’s Creek S1-S6
    • Big Bang Theory S5 [Rewatch]
    • Mistfits S3
    • One Tree Hill S1-S4 [Rewatch]
    • Glee S1-S2 [Rewatch]
    • The Glee Project S1

    Cartoon

    • Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987) S1-S9
    • Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2003) S1
    • Samurai Pizza Cats E1-E13
    • Spectacular Spider-Man S1-S2 [Rewatch]
    • Batman The Animated Series [Rewatch]
    • Justice League: Doom

    Anime

    • Tekkaman Blade II
    • Tekkaman Blade
    • Steins;Gate
    • X-Men Anime
    • Persona
    • Spirited Away

    Reading

    • The Art of Racing in the Rain [Novel]
    • Ultimate Spider-Man 1-89 [Comic]
    • Amazing Spider-Man 654-700 [Comic]
    • Prince of Tennis Vol. 1-42 [Manga]
    • Hikaru no Go Vol. 1-23 [Manga]
    • Neon Genesis Vol. 13 [Manga]

    Gaming

    • Super Mario Bros. Wii U [Wii U]
    • Contra III: Alien Wars [SNES][Replay]
    • Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles IV: Turtles in Time – Normal Mode [SNES][Replay]
    • Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles IV: Turtles in Time – Hard Mode [SNES][Replay]
    • Kirby: Return to Dreamland [Wii]
    • New Super Mario Bros [DS]
    • Super Mario 3D Land [3DS]
    • Zelda: A Link to the Past [SNES][Replay]
    • Braid [PS3]
    • Kirby: Return to Dreamland [Wii] [Replay]
    • The New Super Mario Bros 2 [3DS]
    • The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword [3DS]
    • World of Warcraft – 80-85 – Annataz
    • World of Warcraft – 80-83 – Aldino
    • World of Warcraft – 80-83 – Sheaman
    • World of Warcraft – 80-82 – Blackcanary
    • World of Warcraft – 80-81 – Sudoku
    • World of Warcraft – 80-81 – Grimlock
    • Tiny Tower – 161 Floors
    • Diablo 3 – Level 43-52 (Monk) – Normal mode, Nightmare done, Hell mode Act 1
    • Diablo 3 – Level 1-20 (Demon Hunter) – Normal mode

    Art
    None

    Photography

    • Kotobishoujo: Scarlet Witch
    • Kotobishoujo: Phoenix
    • Kotobishoujo: Dark Phoenix
    • Kotobishoujo: Batgirl Black Costume
    • Kotobishoujo: Poison Ivy
    • Kotobishoujo: X-23 X-Force
    • Kotobishoujo: Christie Monteiro
    • Kotobishoujo: Catwoman
    • Kotobishoujo: Liara T’soni
    • Kotobishoujo: Supergirl
    • Kotobishoujo: Evil Supergirl
    • Kotobishoujo: Wonder Woman
    • Kotobishoujo: Batgirl Black Costume
    • Kotobishoujo: Supergirl
    • Canon Rebel T3i – new DSLR camera!

    Video

    • Converted 22 VHS Tapes to Digital
    • Converted 12 Camcorder Tapes to Digital

    What I hope to accomplish this year

    worldofwarren.com
    I hope to consistently update my achievements section.
    I also hope to do a few figure reviews. I have a lot of toys that don’t get much spotlight and I’d like to give them some.
    If this blog stays as is – a journal of my life – I plan to leave it as it. If I change the direction of this blog, I would hope to create a Facebook page for this.

    warrenshea.com
    This is done and I haven’t been updating/needed to update it much. At some point, I’ll have to gather any projects worth showing from May 2012 to now and add them to the Porfolio section. Otherwise, I’m pretty content with this.

    kotobishoujo.com
    I purchased the domain for this last year, in Oct 2011 but only started doing stuff with it in May 2012. It’s been about 7 months and while I’ve done a lot, there’s still much to do. My hope is to definitely finish this thing this year. And then I can start with other stuff…

    Blogging
    I’m content with my blogging. It’s not as much as I’d like but I don’t have the content to fill…so it all works out :)

    Reading, Art
    Don’t really care about these two things anymore…

    Gaming
    Here’s my Gaming TO DO list:
    The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time [Replay] – In progress already
    The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask
    The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword [Replay]
    Mega Man 1 – 5
    Mega Man Zero
    Super Mario Galaxy
    Super Mario Galaxy 2 (maybe)
    Final Fantasy III (VI)
    If I stick to this list, I should be able to get it down fairly easily.

    Photography
    Learn more about Photography !
    Improve on my macro shots including finishing my Kotobishoujo.com pics and adding some figures to my Figure Review section
    Purchase a 50mm (details pending) lens for everyday shots.

    Improving development skills
    Learn MVC and apply it to warrenshea.com (via backbone.js)
    Improve my OOP.
    ASP.NET MVC?
    Become Microsoft Certified in something? SQL?
    There’s a lot I could put here, but technology is always changing…it’s hard to predict what I’ll want to know in the year.


    How I’ve changed professionally this last year

    It’s been a critical year professionally for me. I’ve been looking at posts from the last 3 years and 2 years ago, I had a crushing experience – not getting the senior developer role despite both applying and feeling qualified for it. Oddly enough, I got the role, unofficially a few months after. And I had that role, title and responsibility, but not the pay for a year+.

    After doing the role but not getting paid for it (for a year~) my work ethic changed. It got worse – I’d come in late, and I’d leave early. In a way, justifying my job and low(er) pay by working less hours, to increase my pay ratio I guess.

    And 1/2 way through last year, I finally got my promotion + salary increase. But unfortunately, my work ethic stayed around the same – poor. It only becomes great when I work on an interesting project. And that’s more for personal gain/motivation than professional (well, I guess it’s both).

    So basically, I’m enjoying my life now. I got my senior developer title. I got my senior developer pay. But I don’t work that hard. And I choose the jobs I want…cuz I’m a diva. Though I tend to also take shitty projects. Funny thing is, I actually downgraded my title (but not my pay) to Intermediate Developer, so I that can still develop and do less project management/overseeing. I’d still rather develop than be in meetings and talk/consult. There’s still much to gain from being in the front-lines. I got very good at being confident with my voice and critical thinking/situations – making the right call/judgement in a critical situation. It’s a skill I think will help throughout my life. To weigh my options and determine what’s best.

    How I hope to change professionally this year

    I’ve been casually interviewing. Talking with headhunters. I’m finding that a lot of people find me on LinkedIn, but once they go to warrenshea.com, they’re sold. They want to talk to me about job…cuz my website is so awesome :D Unfortunately, in these scenarios, most of the jobs they offer suck. Not interested in being the only developer on a site/in a company. Sigh…stop offering me that crap.

    Not sure where I want to go professionally actually…but I want to improve my development skills personally and professionally. Again, I don’t always know where I’m headed but as long as I’m pointed in the right direction.


    …in three years…

    I’ve done a lot since I quit WoW, three years ago today. It’s funny, WoW’s not even a part of my life anymore, it seems odd to pay some kind of tribute to not playing it when I barely think about it nowadays. But I guess I must always remember the 5 years, 400 days of playtime I wasted to that game. I must always remember to keep busy to make up for that time.

    Reading last year’s post, I’m in a much better place happyness-wise. And isn’t that what it’s always about? Being happy? The answer is: yes.

    Things change…Part II

    Thursday, August 23rd, 2012 at 1:40 am

    I’ve been watching this Persona anime and I’m finding it’s been really bad/boring. Actually, I found X-Men Anime bad and boring to. I thought it was because they were simply bad shows but…I think my standards just got higher.

    Some of the first animes I ever watched were Initial D, Get Backers, Hikaru no Go, Gate Keepers, S-cry-ed.
    Initial D and Hikaru no Go hold up, I could watch any episode now and still love it.
    Get Backers and Gate Keepers, I must have watched over and over and over and over again. I loved them so much. But…I don’t really watch them anymore. I still think parts of Get Backers is good (the first 25 eps), but not all of it is great (actually, it starts to get bad as soon as it starts deviating from the manga, so that’s probably why). And Gate Keepers was one of my favourite animes before but I’m finding now that it’s pretty generic.

    Actually, I’m realizing that Persona is almost exactly like Gate Keepers in terms of storyline flow. 2-3 characters introduced in the first 3 episodes. A new character joins each episode afterwards, joining the ensemble. The final team is realized. A few episodes of character development and/or filler. The climax / epic battle. Is Persona really awful because I’ve seen it before (as Gate Keepers)? Is it awful because it’s like Gate Keepers but worse? Or is it simply awful because I’m no longer 20 and I simply don’t like the same stuff anymore. What, the highschool anime kids aren’t as relate-able to me anymore? Probably. And that makes me feel sad. And old.

    But I’m also not the same person who’s so….crazy anime fan anymore. The person that, if I met now, would probably be like ‘umm, ur weird, i’m gonna go stand over here now’ *walks away*. I sometimes cringe at the eager, ultra enthusiastic person I used to be but I don’t regret it. That was me then and this is me now.

    I mean, look at this list of things I bought at FanExpo ONLY TWO YEARS AGO


    ….actually, that’s a bad example because the only things I bought there, that I wouldn’t buy now are 2 DC Ame-comi figures. I’d probably have purchased everything else.
    Damn, I thought I would have been like “I would only buy 10% of this stuff”. Okay, maybe things haven’t changed that much in 2 years.

    ….but in 10, definitely :)

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    .
    .

    The problem with getting older is a lack of time. You have a full time job now. You come home and many days, you’re exhausted. You have family and friends to be with. And you have your own projects. You simply don’t have the time to waste on bad shows. You have to use your time effectively. So maybe the reason these shows bother me so much is that I know there’s better stuff out there. I’m just not watching it….and I’m too OCD to leave it unfinished.

    Honestly, I want kids. I’ve always wanted kids. But right now, I don’t want kids. Because kids eat up your time. You’re no longer just you. You have a priority that takes far more precedence than yourself. You learn to be more selfless. Less selfish. And that scares the personal side of me. Because I love things as they are now. I want kids. Eventually. I just want to still live the loving couple life. Not the loving family life. Not yet at least.

    Not World of Warren

    Wednesday, January 18th, 2012 at 9:02 pm

    My friend linked this page to me. It can be found here in it’s entirety:
    http://www.scu.edu/ethics-center/ethicsblog/thebigq.cfm?c=10252&comm=1

    Just found it interesting.

    Also, as you may NOT have guessed, this is not referring to me. I wouldn’t have a level 60 orc in 2011. PFFT. I had Tauren or Blood Elves…and I had 10 80s. But yes, lots of it is eerily similar. It was difficult reading the comments, and I didn’t read all of them. I’m not THAT ^ person anymore…(and I know it’s not referring to me, but it’s close enough).

    I did throw a lot of my social threads away. Fortunately, my uni schools friends played WoW too. And my high school friends (my closer friends) didn’t abandon me in my weakest days when I abandoned them…for a game. I wasn’t that social last year…but this year, with some of my new friends, I’m really growing socially. I’ve been more social in the last few months than I’ve ever been. Maybe why my blog posts are going down (actually, I do have an answer for that…I’ll write about that later).

    Will write more later. Zelda time. Almost done.

    ♪ ♫ What can you do when your good isn’t good enough ♬ ♪

    Tuesday, January 17th, 2012 at 12:28 pm

    Lyrics
    Click to show

    I’ve been listening to this song lately…it’s a…sad song I guess. When I rewatched Glee, listening to this song was really emotional.


    “What can you do when your good isn’t good enough? When all that you touch tumbles down?”

    These lyrics starting to pop into my head whenever I see someone failing at something.

    I’m looking at my peers.

    One of them put 100% into a relationship and it still failed.
    One of them tries to work really hard but still struggles at their job.
    One of them tries to work really hard but doesn’t get recognized for their work.

    I’m just listening to this song as those lyrics (the entire song almost) apply themselves everywhere.

    When I listen to this song, I think: desperation

    Trying impossibly to do, to get or fix something. But maybe you can’t. Not this time.

    I’ve dealt with my own share of personal desperate failures in the last few years. Times where I feel desperation…because what I’m doing just isn’t good enough to get what I want or fix situations.

    It’s a horrible feeling to have…this desperation. And when I look around me at those who have had or have this feeling, I wonder:
    How could they not see it coming?
    How could they not prepare for it?

    But…I’m guilty of the exact same thing. Sometimes…these situations just happen.

    I’ve been thinking hard about myself and that I always need to be prepared.
    Prepared to lose things. My girlfriend. My job. My possessions. My family.

    Ugh. Even writing that is almost like…admitting that I can lose something. I mean, on one hand I want to be prepared for failure. But on another hand, I should strive for success and failure should never even be an option. I shouldn’t even consider preparing because I *know* I’m not going to fail. But that’s not it…it’s that as much as I try not to fail, sometimes it just happens. That’s the point I guess.

    (Knowing you’ll never fail is a confidence and arrogance in yourself that defies logic. A younger me was very guilty of that. Even now, I’m somewhat guilty of it…but I’m more vulnerable now than when I was younger. I have much more to lose.)

    So I need to always be on my toes. And make sure I never fall into a situation where this desperation applies to me.
    If I lose my job: what do I do? I need to constantly keep my skills up so that I can get another job ASAP. I can’t ever fall behind so much that I don’t have the skill to do something.
    If I lose my possessions: what do I do? I need to remember that money and material things aren’t what make my life. And that my family is there to support me.
    If I lose my girlfriend: what do I do? I die a horrible death alone. I think this is the one I’m probably least prepared for…

    Anyways, this song and the lyrics have been floating around my head lately…seemingly popping up everywhere and applying to everything. I just wanted to…remind everyone that sometimes you fail, despite your best efforts. And that everyone needs to not only be prepared for it, but to accept this reality and be prepared to move past it. To accept that sometimes you fail. To accept that you have to try again.