So Z and I are out to dinner at Mandarin buffet today.

As I’m seated, I notice this 20something asian couple right infront of us, their back towards us. The dude – despite having gelled hair looked extremely…dorky. Like, sterotypically awkward asian. I looked at him briefly as I sat down and noticed his awkward, ugly face as he makes this really weird noise. Like a snorting laugh, typical of what I’d imagine someone like him would do. At first, I assumed he was trying to make his gf or date laugh by making that weird noise so loudly. I thought to myself “that was weird…” but shrugged it off. That is, until I noticed that the strange noise he made was simply just him. He was a socially awkward, ugly young asian and he’d caught my attention.

I hadn’t mentioned anything to Z yet, I was slightly amused, but really just hungry so I decided to focus on the food.

As the night went on and since he was right in front of me, he became a fascination of mine. Did this guy know he was a weird looking dork? He had gelled hair, was in a dress shirt…but he definitely had “dork” written all over him.

As I would occasionally glance at the couple (again, they’re right infront of me), I started to notice that despite it being a buffet, the girl never left her seat. Instead, the guy was getting up and bringing back plates of food for them to share. At this point, I was smirking at Z, “this guy is like this girl’s waiter or something…he’s her little bitch”. Why is he getting her all the food? That’s pretty weird. I’ve never seen that in a buffet, generally people get their own food.

At this point, Z was intrigued too. We were whispering jokes at/about them, making each other laugh at their expense (it sounds awful but if you were there, you would have joined in).

Eventually the bill comes. The guy puts down $50 and the girl doesn’t lift a finger. “Of course” I say to Z. Of course this guy is paying for the meal. He was this girl’s servant. Bringing her food and all. I wouldn’t have expected anything else.

But then, this guy pulls out another $90, 2 $20s and a $50 and gives it to her. Z and I are thinking “WTH, he just paid for dinner, and now he’s giving her money?”. Maybe there was some kinda deal or past monetary debt that we weren’t aware of…..but based off of what we just saw from the night, this guy was just this girl’s tool. The girl looked at the money, shook her head no and gave it back to him. Based on her reaction, obviously the money wasn’t rightfully hers so good for her! Until….

This guy then insisted, casually throwing the 3 bills infront of her. She then takes the $50, and gives him back $40. WTF !!!

This guy not only paid $50 for dinner, but then she also took his $50 from him. And the worst part is…if she’s going to take money from him after he paid for dinner, at least take the 2 $20s ($40), not the $50!! Like, show a little class. But no! I was dumbfounded in the display of….the girl’s audacity, the guy’s lack of balls, the guy pathetic servitude towards her….just everything was…both hilarious, painful, yet intriguing to watch.

Even tho that guy put down so much money for her, treated her like a queen….based on what i saw in their relationship, that girl was probably thinking “You’re never getting into my pants”. I can see it now, he’d be crying at her door, begging her to be with him and she’d be like “no scrubs!”….or the asian equivalent of that. “aiyahhhhh, no scrub-ahhhhhh”. (How offense I’ve been to my own race >_<). Anyways, it was a sight to behold. I keep picturing the image of her taking the $50 and giving him $40 back, after he just paid for dinner. How did she get away with that? How pathetic and desperate was that guy to allow that to happen. “PLEASE, TAKE MY MONEY AND MY BALLS” was the presence he was displaying. It was so sad to watch. Still, I had many good laughs so it was quite the show for Z and I. :D