5 days a week, I brush my teeth, shower, get dressed, do my hair, put in my contacts and I leave for work. The whole process takes at least 30 minutes. Usually it takes much longer, I check my email, check twitter, check the weather, check my blog, do a few minutes of casual surfing…and just chill for a bit.

I go outside…because I have to go outside, to go to work.

On my weekends, I rarely want to go out. Almost never. The weekend is MY time. And by personal choice, I don’t like to leave my condo.

There are only a few reasons that will make me go out:
1) My high school friends are getting together for whatever.
2) I haven’t gone out with Zena so many nights/weekends that I start to feel guilty about it, then go out with her. This temporarily solves my problems and guilt….

Yes. Those are only reasons I would go out by choice. If I ever have to run errands, I do so after work. Grocery shopping? After work. If I have to go somewhere after work by driving, I go straight to the car. As soon as I set foot in my condo, I don’t want to leave. There are so many times when I go home and plan to go back out…but I don’t. Once I’m at home, I don’t want to leave.

I had some vacation days recently and I didn’t leave my condo for over 72 hours. And I was fine with that.

I get ready for work 5 days of the week. For me, it’s like going out. I do everything the same. It’s such a pain in the ass…hair takes me the most amount of time, 5-10 minutes…10-15 if it doesn’t come out right. It’s such a pain to do it that I hate doing it when I don’t have to. But…I won’t go out if it’s not done…my hair is at a length that if I don’t do it, it’s not presentable enough (again, I’m pretty vain when it comes to my hair). What’s the point of getting ready to go out…only to come back an hour or 2 later….BAH. And I know the answer… “uhhh…to go out?! to do something” but….for me, there’s nothing out there that interests me. I don’t like seeing this or going to that. Just like traveling, I just don’t care.

I like to spend my time playing my games, developing, or watching my shows. I like being entertained with a good story, something the emotionally touches me or something that makes me think. The only thing that’s out there that I want to be a part of is hanging out with my high school friends. When we get together, I laugh like I’ve never laughed before. Everybody’s got their circle of friends and I love mine. The nights when I have the most fun I’ve ever had are with my high school friends.

I know that not wanting to leave my home is odd, antisocial, etc. It’s not that I can’t do it, it’s that I don’t like to. Work time is work time, I get paid for it, I better be there. But the weekend is my time and I’ll use it how I want to use it, fuck everything and everyone else. I do whatever the hell I want to do…and when I’m not doing the things I want to spend my time with, I’m not happy.

It’s the same reason why I hate going out to dinners/get togethers with family. It’s invading my personal time…I see people that I’m not particularly close with by choice. We make small talk and it’s an okay time. But I wouldn’t call it fun, there’s nothing that I really enjoy or want from the gatherings. I don’t go out of my way to see my family…unless my nephew and niece are there because I want to see/play with them. I’ve always been pretty independent. I don’t initiate a call or email my family ever. I don’t initiate an MSN conversation with anyone except Zena. I can be by myself for days and days and be okay with it. I enjoy it.

I never thought about this until just now, as I write this, but a lot of this might be attributed to social anxiety disorder….

Ahhhh…seriously, I’m not socially stunted or a social retard. I’m fine at work, I’m fine with strangers…I’m friendly and people are generally and easily comfortable around me (as I’ve been told a number of times). My aura is generally friendly, laid back…

I dunno, this post is kinda all over the place…jumping around. Just rambling off the top of my head…..

I’m at the point in my life where I don’t care about meeting new people or staying in contact with people. I’ve got my high school friends and they’ll be around forever (given that it’s been 10 years since high school and the core of us are still pretty tight). I’ve got Zena and she’ll be around as long as I live (because I’m gonna die before her…fo sho). I’m socially content with what I have now. And for me, going outside is all about the people out there, not the sights and sounds. There’s nothing outside that interests me other than the people and no people that I want to meet. I’m content being at home. Having my current friends. My girlfriend. I’m content with life. I don’t want anything else and I’m not looking for anything else.