Warren Shea - World of Warren

Archive for the ‘Friends’ Category

YOU FRAKKING LIAR!!

Tuesday, May 4th, 2010 at 2:12 am

*in Takashi Kawamura (Prince of Tennis) voice* MY RAGE IS BURNING !

Okay…I’m doing some resume updating…and I’ve been going through my old ones as well as some I’ve kept throughout the years that I look to for inspiration…

I came across one of my high school friend’s resume…in it, he lists that he was

Co-Head of L.S.S. CD-ROM Year Book Graphical Department
Head of L.S.S. Web Page Development Team

Why is this an issue? Why does it anger me so? I was ACTUAL Head of L.S.S. CD-ROM Year Book Graphical Department and Head of L.S.S. Web Page Development Team. This guy didn’t have anything to do with either of the clubs…he attended 3 CD-ROM Year Book meetings but did absolutely nothing for the Web Page Development Team. I mean, I get it…people lie on their resume…who’s going to find that stuff out? If you’re a good enough liar…you can fudge your way through questions, etc. I get what he did, it makes sense…but personally, I’m OUTRAGED. BLATANTLY CLAIMING THESE POSITIONS WHICH WERE MINE. I know I wouldn’t be nearly as angry if he lied about any other position but the fact is that he’s lying about positions in which I ACTUALLY HAD, not he.

This guy’s currently working at Microsoft now…

The world is not fair

/NERD RAGE

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Signs you’re a hardcore gamer

Thursday, April 29th, 2010 at 10:19 pm

There’s a PurePwnage Contest listing top 10 signs you’re a hardcore gamer. There are some items that totally apply to me, I’ve listed them below:

Your Internet connection is more important than running water.
You book your vacation time based on World of Warcraft expansion release dates.
When you wake up on your birthday you yell “DING!”
When your exercise is walking to the bathroom and the fridge.
When your book collection is actually video game manuals.

All of the above are true with the exception of waking up on my birthday and yelling “Ding!”. I did however, say “Ding!” on my birthday, just not when I woke up….

For my own list:

When you close your eyes at night, you see the game you were playing recently
When your friends from out of town come over, they bring their laptops and play on your ironing board while you all watch MLG (Major League Gaming)

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The Moment

Sunday, April 18th, 2010 at 12:27 am

I was out all day with my high school friends…spent all of dinner talking about work, relationships and weddings. I realize the significant shift in conversation these last few years, it’s no longer about a show or some music or…drama with people you aren’t that close with. It’s all very…mature. And I love it. I’ve never been one to talk about trending topics, I live in my own little world compared to my friends. Sure, some people watch anime, some read comic books, some people do computer stuff, some people play video games….but no one does all of them out of my friends. Except me. They all have more in common with each other than I have with any one of them….that’s how it is. I’m the odd one out. It’s kinda funny because Zena’s friends are more like me than my close and best friends. I would probably have gotten closer to them if I didn’t already love my current circle. Having too many friends…and going out frequently….is too exhausting for an anti-socialite such as myself. I was never looking for new friends either…despite the differences with my current friends, they are still the best friends I could ever ask for. All of them.

Anyways, I drove my soon-to-be-married friend home…and we talked about our respective relationships. We talked about both of our relationships as well as an already married couple…and how all 3 of us guys had this moment…not a specific amount of time, but this…moment in your life when you realize you’re with “the one”. I never really…thought about it, I always assumed I would be with Z and that’s the way things were gonna play out. But I never thought about this “the one” stuff. But these last few weeks…I realized it. My “moment” wasn’t a specific, sudden realization. I don’t know how long it took but I feel it now, I realize it now…when I didn’t feel it a few months ago. It’s not to say I didn’t love her before, it’s just saying I might not have realized her true significance to me. But things have changed. I’ve changed. I see it now that every person that gets married probably has this moment…

There’s still so much to learn about life and love. I’m feel so…superior sometimes…that I feel that I’ve matured faster than others…that I’ve thought about things my peers have never thought about…that I’ve used my thinking time more wisely, that I know it all and everyone else is playing catch up. I believe it comes with being an introvert and isolated. When left alone with my thoughts too long, my mind tends to wander and think about things I believe others have never considered. I feel like I’ve trained myself to think faster than others, to be quicker, to see five solutions to a problem in the same time others might only find one. But there are some things…you just can’t out think, no matter how much time you have. There are some things in life you have to experience…you can imagine them, but you can’t understand them. Like when Robin Williams talked to Matt Damon in Good Will Hunting. He analyzed Matt, telling him he could read, memorize, and quote about love…but he couldn’t understand, he couldn’t feel. And it was true.

I feel humbled…my friend, telling me, literally applauding me for discovering something he discovered years ago (which is why he’s getting married in 2 weeks, and I’m not). It’s not a race to discover this moment…in everyone’s case (er, of the 3 we discussed), it took some kind of meaningful event or person to make the realization. A catalyst to start the change. I have been going out with Zena almost 6 years and it just so happened I was at this point in my life that the catalyst took effect. But…it could have just as easily have happened sooner…or later. Maybe I was looking for it…actually…I kind of was…but I never foresaw this “moment”. I had to discover it on my own…realize it. Understand it. Feel it.

There is still so much to learn…I’m excited to experience more realizations like this. And excited to talk to my friends about them…I may feel superior to a lot of people in a lot of ways…but love is not one of them. I’m doing well but there’s still so much to catch up on. Another era in my life is just about to start. Specifically, on Wednesday. And I’m ready for it. I wasn’t 3 years ago. I wasn’t 4 months ago. But I’m ready now.

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I don’t like going outside….

Monday, April 12th, 2010 at 7:45 pm

5 days a week, I brush my teeth, shower, get dressed, do my hair, put in my contacts and I leave for work. The whole process takes at least 30 minutes. Usually it takes much longer, I check my email, check twitter, check the weather, check my blog, do a few minutes of casual surfing…and just chill for a bit.

I go outside…because I have to go outside, to go to work.

On my weekends, I rarely want to go out. Almost never. The weekend is MY time. And by personal choice, I don’t like to leave my condo.

There are only a few reasons that will make me go out:
1) My high school friends are getting together for whatever.
2) I haven’t gone out with Zena so many nights/weekends that I start to feel guilty about it, then go out with her. This temporarily solves my problems and guilt….

Yes. Those are only reasons I would go out by choice. If I ever have to run errands, I do so after work. Grocery shopping? After work. If I have to go somewhere after work by driving, I go straight to the car. As soon as I set foot in my condo, I don’t want to leave. There are so many times when I go home and plan to go back out…but I don’t. Once I’m at home, I don’t want to leave.

I had some vacation days recently and I didn’t leave my condo for over 72 hours. And I was fine with that.

I get ready for work 5 days of the week. For me, it’s like going out. I do everything the same. It’s such a pain in the ass…hair takes me the most amount of time, 5-10 minutes…10-15 if it doesn’t come out right. It’s such a pain to do it that I hate doing it when I don’t have to. But…I won’t go out if it’s not done…my hair is at a length that if I don’t do it, it’s not presentable enough (again, I’m pretty vain when it comes to my hair). What’s the point of getting ready to go out…only to come back an hour or 2 later….BAH. And I know the answer… “uhhh…to go out?! to do something” but….for me, there’s nothing out there that interests me. I don’t like seeing this or going to that. Just like traveling, I just don’t care.

I like to spend my time playing my games, developing, or watching my shows. I like being entertained with a good story, something the emotionally touches me or something that makes me think. The only thing that’s out there that I want to be a part of is hanging out with my high school friends. When we get together, I laugh like I’ve never laughed before. Everybody’s got their circle of friends and I love mine. The nights when I have the most fun I’ve ever had are with my high school friends.

I know that not wanting to leave my home is odd, antisocial, etc. It’s not that I can’t do it, it’s that I don’t like to. Work time is work time, I get paid for it, I better be there. But the weekend is my time and I’ll use it how I want to use it, fuck everything and everyone else. I do whatever the hell I want to do…and when I’m not doing the things I want to spend my time with, I’m not happy.

It’s the same reason why I hate going out to dinners/get togethers with family. It’s invading my personal time…I see people that I’m not particularly close with by choice. We make small talk and it’s an okay time. But I wouldn’t call it fun, there’s nothing that I really enjoy or want from the gatherings. I don’t go out of my way to see my family…unless my nephew and niece are there because I want to see/play with them. I’ve always been pretty independent. I don’t initiate a call or email my family ever. I don’t initiate an MSN conversation with anyone except Zena. I can be by myself for days and days and be okay with it. I enjoy it.

I never thought about this until just now, as I write this, but a lot of this might be attributed to social anxiety disorder….

Ahhhh…seriously, I’m not socially stunted or a social retard. I’m fine at work, I’m fine with strangers…I’m friendly and people are generally and easily comfortable around me (as I’ve been told a number of times). My aura is generally friendly, laid back…

I dunno, this post is kinda all over the place…jumping around. Just rambling off the top of my head…..

I’m at the point in my life where I don’t care about meeting new people or staying in contact with people. I’ve got my high school friends and they’ll be around forever (given that it’s been 10 years since high school and the core of us are still pretty tight). I’ve got Zena and she’ll be around as long as I live (because I’m gonna die before her…fo sho). I’m socially content with what I have now. And for me, going outside is all about the people out there, not the sights and sounds. There’s nothing outside that interests me other than the people and no people that I want to meet. I’m content being at home. Having my current friends. My girlfriend. I’m content with life. I don’t want anything else and I’m not looking for anything else.

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Maybe I haven’t changed much in the last 9 years…

Sunday, April 11th, 2010 at 9:32 pm

“Happiness only exists through your perspective on life. Only dream if you believe. Never forget the child within. Remember to smile. Regret nothing. Dance like nobody’s watching.” – Warren Shea, High school yearbook Class of 2001

I was 19 when I wrote the above. That was my summary on how to live life. 9 years ago. And surprisingly…not too much has changed.

Happiness only exists through your perspective on life – This sounds like it came from “the glass is half full” side of me but I still strongly believe in it. Happiness is what you make of your life. If you’re not happy, you have to work towards changing it. Right now, there’s an aspect of my life I’m not happy with but I’m spending my nights and weekends trying to work towards changing that. If you’re unhappy…you’re looking at life wrong. Hm. That sounds a bit…preachy…but…if you can change the way you look at life…turn the bads to goods…you’ll be happier. A negative outlook on life doesn’t get better once you achieve the things that are making you unhappy now. New things that will make you unhappy will come up because you’ll make it so. Because that’s how you see life. Start looking at the positives.

Only dream if you believe – This sounds like the naive dreamer side of me. 9 years ago, I was ambitious in life…looking towards the future to achieving the dreams I had not yet reached. I know a number of people in my life right now with dreams…something they’re working towards, or something they want to accomplish in their life. A friend of mine has a dream and he spends so much time, effort, and discipline towards that dream. He believes in his dream and sacrifices everything for it. I impressed with the determination and dedication he has for his dream. He believes in it. I admire that.

Never forget the child within – Safe to say I haven’t forgotten him. It’s pretty obvious to anyone that knows me even remotely well that I still am my own child.

Remember to smile – Despite all my b!tching and darkness, I genuinely smile a lot. I like to laugh and make others laugh whether it be with me or at me. I’m able to wear my smile often, even when I’m stressed. A friendly smile brings a much better aura than no smile. A friendly aura can brighten someone’s day whereas negativity can easily breed more negativity. I try never to be the latter type of person…despite how I’m actually feeling. Even the fake smile that I wear often…is so I don’t spread the negativity.

Regret nothing – I wish I could say I live by this but there’s always a few regrets here and there. Generally though, I try not to let things of the past affect me or at least, learn from my mistakes. I can’t say I completely live by this though, the way I handled UWaterloo for example was a regret of mine and something I can’t really forget…

Dance like nobody’s watching – heh. This might be the one quote that doesn’t really apply to me anymore. In high school, I used to DDR. A LOT. That’s where this quote comes from. Out of my close group of high school friends, maybe 6 or more played DDR…some of my friends didn’t play though. I’m not sure if they were just self-conscious or thought it was stupid…but in high school, I was more confident than I am now, I would dance like nobody’s watching. Can’t say this is true anymore, I’m more insecure now and physically much less fit than I was 9 years ago….the specifics of this rule is gone but the general idea is to do what you want, when you want. Who cares what others think. Be yourself.

Hm. Don’t really like this post, sounds a bit preachy. Still….I found it pretty interesting how these lines from my yearbook still apply to me. There are some changes here and there but the way I live my life, the fundamentals on how I see life, they’re the same. I’m still me, even a decade later.

Posted in All Posts, Friends, Introspection, My Life, Past | 2 Comments »