Warren Shea - World of Warren

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Recursive(?) / Redundant Statements

Thursday, May 23rd, 2013 at 7:07 pm

One of my more recent statements has been:
“You don’t know what you don’t know”

Since then, I’ve been noticing similar phrases:
We are who we are (Ke$ha song apparently)
It is what it is
You gotta do what you gotta do
(and, I don’t know if these are some but I thought of them)
It happens when it happens
I’ll do it when I do it

Those last two are pretty bad, not sure if they should ‘apply’.

I don’t know if these would be called recursive…cuz “we are who we are who we are” or “it is what it is what it is” doesn’t really make much sense.
They’re definitely all pretty redundant – There is nothing really gained by those statements yet they’re often said.

I do think “You don’t know what you don’t know” is kind of bigger in meaning – it implies you not knowing something of a greater infinity of knowledge. It’s more focused on the NOT in the universe than the IT.

Like, if these were equations:
“It is what it is” is like “This = This”
“You gotta do what you gotta do” is like “You gotta do = You gotta do”

“You don’t know what you don’t know” is like….!KNOW(!KNOW) or UNKNOWN(UNKNOWN) ?

I think I’m over thinking this ridiculous topic. I’ve been occasionally provided more time to think and write odd blog topics like this one >_<

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/rut

Tuesday, May 14th, 2013 at 2:21 am

It’s 1:45 am and I should be sleeping but I feel like blogging. A tired body but a racing mind likely still result in laying in bed with anxiety. So I’ll perform a little catharsis to ease my mind and relax.

I have a wedding to go to this weekend for/with my Waterloo friends. Haven’t seen many of them in 6 or 7 years now. What will we talk about? Last time I met with some of them, I told them I was a developer, and one of them replied with “you still dev!?”. Apparently I do. But my friends….they don’t really anymore. And haven’t for a while. They’re project managers or some kind of managers. Most of them. I don’t think there are too many people in the trenches anymore at my age. At least, not of my friends. A couple of my high school friends are also managers as of this year. It’s really got me thinking….I might need to make a career decision soon. (this wedding has been the reason why i wrote my last 2 posts – the truth is that i don’t want to tell them i still develop….i want to tell them i’m…being someone important…like a manager or something).

I’ve been playing a bit of WoW this week. One of my co-workers plays and she’s pretty into it. And she got another of my co-workers to sign back on…and then, Z and I signed back on. I’ve been in kinda a rut lately. Contemplating my Secret Project KB. Watching old Simpsons, kinda watching Veronica Mars and the original 1960s Star Trek. Also kinda watching Grey’s Anatomy and Private Practice (Z’s been watching it all). Man, they’re such GIRL SHOWS. I mean, I watched Gilmore Girls and that’s a girl show. But didn’t mind it and ended up liking it. But these female doctors shows are like, SO girl. More irrational and odd. “Like, let’s just bottle up all our thoughts and not communicate with [person you like] and then at the end of the episode, burst it all out into one big rant that ends up with the person you’re originally so angry at kissing you.” That’s your the dream scenario, isn’t it!? You crazy b!tches….

</end crazy rant>

Anyways, back to my rut….so basically, one of my old rivals released his new site today. And damn, it’s good. And I’m so envious and jealous at the same time. I’d like to meet him again soon so we can discuss all the cool things he’s done. He said he’d like to pick my brain too. Pick my brain he says? He says that like we’re equals…but he’ll always be a rival out of my reach. Especially if I waste time playing WoW again and stuck in my rut.

I need to get out of it again. I need motivation. I need a rival…or rival(s). I don’t feel I have any anymore and that makes me sad and lost. I think I improve pretty quick but I improve quicker with competition. Cuz I like to win and dominate. Not a good personality trait but I’ll try to focus it in a way that’s useful…

I need to finish my incomplete book (The Design of Everyday Things). I need to finish Veronica Mars and Simpsons and my secret project KB. I always work hard – and then don’t. And I take longer than necessary breaks until I need to work hard again. I don’t like that I’m built that way. Why can’t I always work hard. I want to, I really do. As always, I lack discipline….

One of my co-workers was a game…model…designer. But he couldn’t find a job so he went into web development. One of my other co-workers was is/was a game developer. But he couldn’t find a job so he went into web development. Both of them have great skill in their previous field but due to the difficulty of getting employed, had to work in a field with more demand, less supply. Even though I’m better than them at web, they’re likely both stronger developers than I. It bothers me….I never feel good enough. Or sometimes, I feel too great. Or sometimes I just wanna be great at everything, but fall short of that because well, it’s unrealistic. But I cannot seem to accept that failure. I always want to be great at everything…and I waste time by being great at nothing….and then kick myself for not being great and everything. So I try hard to be great at everything…ah the cycle.

(I know, the solution is to not be great at everything, but great at some things….that’s a very real and achievable goal….but goes again my personality).

Okay, I’m done.

Off to bedz. Thanks for reading :)

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I don’t know anything about mobile development…

Wednesday, May 8th, 2013 at 2:22 pm

(which isn’t true but it’s a play off my last post).

Another avenue open to me is mobile development. I could do it, if I wanted to. I’ve been considering that too, as I’d get to continue develop, using current techniques as well (because the browsers would be all mobile/tablet friendly, none of this IE8 crap). I still don’t want to leave the development game…it makes me sad and hurts a little inside when I think about not developing anymore.

Anyways, just thinking about stuffz….

I’m at a bit of a crossroad in my professional life. I think it’s time to move on to something new and I have to figure out what I want to do. I mean, I kinda wanna just stay where I am…but I think I’ll regret that decision later. It’s important to grow and learn and do things you’re not used to. It’s like everything in your professional life has led to today. And that’s true every day. So what are you working towards?

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I don’t know anything about being a manager…

Tuesday, May 7th, 2013 at 12:34 pm

…which is good, cuz I’m not one. (yet?).

I’ve been considering things I would change within the team/department if I were a manager. You can’t keep things the same as is…you have to leave your mark. A new manager is there because things aren’t working/need improvement.

I think my biggest difficulty being a manager would be trying to improve poor performance. It’s unfortunate, but a lot of people think they do a good job but everyone else knows they don’t. So how do you break through their glass of misconception and help them become self-aware? I think that would be my toughest challenge. I’m a blunt person and I generally lack empathy. So it would be difficult to convey such a message if a person does not take it or criticism well. I think that to be a manager, you need a significant understand of the psychology of an individual – that is, you need to know how they work, what makes this happy/angry/sad and most importantly – how to achieve the best results from them. Do they thrive on competition? Do they have a lot of pride? Do they get upset easily? How do they take criticism…all that needs to be considered…and each person is different.

I’m wondering if I should start reading book/learning or anything…for possible future use. If I’m ever put in a managerial role, I’d need to play catch up. So learning now would alleviate that issue…

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Been heavily considering dropping my secret project KB

Sunday, April 28th, 2013 at 7:08 pm

Pros to doing it / keeping the project going

It will be nice to finally complete another project
I have an excuse to keep buying the statues lol – I have all the ones that have been released at the moment, I take quite a bit of pride in that (some of them where tough to get/expensive)

Cons to continuing

If I finished, despite being proud of my work, I can’t really show it off due to the nature of the content and humanity’s judgement – I don’t really want to associate my name to it which is why, even now, I refer to it as Secret Project KB. Yes, other people’s opinions of me mean that much
Only 1/2 done photography, and it takes so much time…I’ll be working on this project another 5 months before it’s “caught up” and I have to go from “development” to “maintenance”
Was hoping to get free statues eventually once the site was done but doubt I can gain the necessary social/reputable aspect to get them from the parent/manufacturing company
Already learned as much as I can for the project development wise
Not happy with all the photography, want to go back and correct some rotators – but that will take more time
Already learned as much as I can for the project photography wise – and also, I’m sure once I learn more about photography, I won’t like the photos I’ve done
I want to move on to another project, one I can put on my resume or do/learn something new. Would also like to work with someone on a project, or get some money from a project.
Time consuming to maintain the site and social aspect of the site by myself – most sites like this have teams
The site is supposed to be a person’s “ONLY RESOURCE NEEDED FOR SAID TOPIC” but I can’t go to any of the cons (conventions) where they release the information first hand. I only get my information from other sources making the whole idea fundamentally flawed
Not happy with the design I came up with. Frustrated with it, just want to throw it away and start something anew

That said, I think a couple pros can be derived from my cons if I kept going:

Work with the design until I get it right. Rather than give up, keep working on it until I’m happy and it’s good. That will provide the most satisfaction.
Would still be proud of myself for completing the task. I’ve said this before about me:
“I’ve left a wake of unfinished projects throughout my life.”
and I’d like it if this weren’t one of them – but I only like the project as much as I can benefit from it and this one is slowly losing its appeal

I’ve been flip-flopping with the idea of quitting. One day, I quit. The next, I decide not to. Can’t seem to make up my conflicting mind. Must be the gemini in me.

Looking for input. Please give me your thoughts!

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