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Warren Shea

Friends are Replaceable

Monday, May 3rd, 2010 at 12:57 am

Let’s think numbers…
Think about the number of close friends in your grade school.
Think about the number of close friends in your high school.
Think about the number of close friends in university/college.
Think about the number of close friends at work.

Given any situation, you always have your really close 2 to 5 friends.
You have your slightly close 5 to 10 to 15 friends who you know, maybe see a lot, but you probably wouldn’t confide in.

I’ll tell a story: I met my close university friends because of a girl. I noticed this girl in my classes and one day, about a week or 2 into uni, just went up to their group and introduced myself. It was…extroverted, social, so very unlike me. Nevertheless, I became a part of their group…it was still early in uni, groups hadn’t really been defined yet. I realize now that had I not tried to pursue this girl, I would never be close to these friends that I have now. I could have just as easily joined another group for another reason and my friends would have been completely different.

Basically, whatever situation you’re in, you always find a couple of people you’re close with. You always find a bunch of people you might talk to but not confide in.

These friends of yours now, the people who know you best, who understand you, whom you laugh with and chill with. They could just as easily have been other people.

From a mathematical standpoint, friends are replaceable.

Friends, best friends, significant others, husbands and wives…they all could be other people given different circumstances.

As much as you cherish your friends, as much as you love them…they could just as easily have been a different group of people. And you’d have just as many special memories, relationships and connections with another group of friends as your friends now.

Soulmates are a mathematical impossibility. People who use the term to describe their significant other…don’t understand it (that’s my way of saying – they’re idiots).

The fact is, the significant other you’re with, the person you’ve married…could easily have been someone else. I guess the point is a bit moot…life is what it is, there’s not much point in pondering the what could have beens and the what can still be. I just wanted to point out that the people you hold dear in your life that aren’t your family…could just as easily been other people. If you lost your friends, you’d get new ones.

Friends are replaceable. Your friends aren’t special, my friends aren’t special, you can find them anywhere given enough people or depending where you look. If you don’t have many friends…you were probably never in a situation with enough people similar to you. If you don’t have many friends throughout your entire life…there’s probably something wrong with you. Or something wrong with everyone else. But it’s probably you. Truth hurts. Do something about it.

Getting a bit side tracked. When I think about Zena and I, I don’t see us as anything more than 2 people who found what we needed in each other. We’re good together…but I don’t think it’s because we just are, like we were meant to be together. I think it’s that we both understand our relationship, our roles, and we both have what we want in each other. But it’s not a Notebook or Serendipity kinda thing. Hmm…I’m not very romantic…I’m definitely looking at things from a statistical and mathematical standpoint.

Anyways…that’s one of my saved rants that I’ve had. It’s been a while since I wrote something that wasn’t a site update or a long tweet. Sadly, I don’t have many rants left…if you want more of these, I’ll have to force myself to think them up…

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