Sometimes…I think about all the people that walk by me everyday…literally hundreds/thousands of people pass by me in a single day. And each one of them…
-Has lost something/someone they’ve loved in life
-Shed tears for a reason they felt worth crying over
-Have their stories to tell
-Liked a number of people. Like Liked.
Think about all the strangers that pass you everyday…how many people have they been infatuated with over the course of their life. Take one person and imagine them as a dot. If that person has liked say, 5 people in their life (which is a pretty small number I would think), then you have 5 lines coming from that dot. And 5 more lines coming from THOSE end dots, and so on and so on – whoa, Math 239 Graph Theory just popped into my head – until you have this enormous web of infatuations. Now, much like that 6 degrees of separation, I imagine EVERYONE in the world being connected in this web.
If everyone liked say, 5 people, then on average, you yourself should be liked BY 5 people. 5 connections from every single person = 5 x total population = 5 times everyone is liked…on average.
Now me, I’ve been infatuated with a number of people throughout my life. Rarely did I ever tell them…and if I’ve never told them, it makes me wonder how many people have never told me they liked me. And this goes for everyone. Now…I start thinking about the people I know…who might never have had anyone be infatuated with them. I’m sure you can think of at least one or two people in your life like that. If you really can’t imagine that nobody has ever liked them…why is that so?
I would hate to be THAT person. To be either so unlikable, so obnoxious, so awkward…so ugly….that not a single person has ever been infatuated with them. I don’t know…I’m insecure in the sense of my own worth through how others see me matters. Throughout my life, when I knew people were infatuated with me…I felt good about myself. That I’m doing something right in life and that people actually would…want to be with me. Obviously this isn’t so much the case now, I’m thinking about my past. There are a number of people that have confessed feelings for me…kinda makes me wonder about all the people that didn’t. I guess I’ll never know just like I’ll never confess my feelings for the girls I’ve liked in the past.
Love is tough…putting yourself out there hoping to be accepted. Kind of like applying for a job or trying to get a promotion or applying to a school. It’s like a date, one side is figuring out if you are worthy of the role or not. And you get acceptance or rejection. And acceptance makes you feel good, rejection makes you feel lousy.
I don’t envy that game at all. I mean, unless you’re fairly attractive, having tons of people like you, the game isn’t that easy. Love is some tough sh!t to get.
/stupid game…it’s like metal gear solid on extreme mode. after a few hours of playing the same impossible thing ur like “fuck” and you turn the console off. but you can’t turn life off. well…you can but I would advise against it. Not talking anyone into suicide…well, not again I mean. It didn’t work out so well the first time…I joke, I joke……. :S