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Warren Shea

Archive for the ‘Love’ Category

An analogy for chopping someone.

Tuesday, December 13th, 2011 at 11:24 pm

First, let me explain chopping, as I’ve only recently discovered this slang this year (I think I’m two thousand and late).
To chop – To court, to flirt, to mack. They all mean the same thing.

Chopping comes with an analogy of holding something for chopping though.
“I brought out my big axe for chopping this girl” means “I was really using my A game to hit on her”
“I was only chopping this girl with a plastic butter knife cuz I didn’t have much sleep” means “I’m too tired to flirt with this girl”
“This girl was fugly so I didn’t even bring my axe” means “I’m just going to be friends with this ugly girl”
I think this is me talking ghetto or gangsta, with a hint of my regular, well behaved self so you’ll have to pardon my gangsta english. It’s not natural to me.

Anyways – to my analogy.
When I was in high school, I used to equate chopping to being in a war.
The guy brings out his army. He plans his methods of attack. He tries to attack from different angles. He covers as much area as he can. He sends all his troops out to get the girl/win the war. He does all this sh!t. But the girl on the other side of the battle just has to press the “NUKE” button to win the war. It’s THAT easy for her.

It equates to basically – A guy can spend lots of time and money chopping a girl. He can play subtle games, be manipulative, cock block other guys, he can plan things out, read into signals, I dunno, whatever guys do when they chop. He can do everything in his power to get a girl to like him. But when he asks her to take the next step (go out, date, be boyfriend/girlfriend), it’s a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’ from the girl that can end the war. Either the guy wins the battle or he cries out “Nooooooooo!!!!*” and everything he’s done is blown to smithereens.

.
.
.

Sometimes listening to girls is really weird, they’re so oblivious to a guy’s intentions [and no, it’s not always about sex]. But I guess it’s fair that men don’t really understand women either.

I can’t say my track record with women is great. I’ve generally tended to often go for girls that were already in relationships (homewrecker!). The (best?) part about that was….I never really put myself out there to be rejected for no reason. As in, if I ever told anyone I liked them, there was always either “Uh, I’m in a relationship…you idiot” or something like that. An excuse. I can’t say I’ve ever been flat out rejected because I never really went with someone full force, where there wasn’t an excuse of some sort for being together. I guess that’s a way of protecting myself from true failure.

I’m glad I’m out of the game. Being out there is not fun and I imagine it’s pretty difficult at this point [at the age of 30ish] for a guy where many of the girls our age are married or in relationships. Yes, there are eligible single girls out there. But you have to find them out of the non-eligible single girls. Of course, you can always go for a younger girl. That’s what I’d suggest for a guy my age…but I always did like younger girls. Except in one case.

I’ve had relationships on my mind lately. Engaged couples and single guys and girls. People that are looking for that special someone and people that have just crossed a special someone off their list of people to be with (a break up). I’ve been thinking about that stuff a lot lately…how some people don’t know how to get what they want. Or how people don’t know what they want. I always find it bizarre how two people can care about each other, but after they break up – hate each others guts. It occurs in messy divorces, it occurs in teenage romances, it occurs all the time. I guess people change, but I just find it a bit strange that you can love someone at one point, and hate them later.

As I was saying, I’ve been thinking a lot about how people don’t know how to get what they want. I guess that’s easy to say from the other side. I’ve got a good thing going as long as I don’t blow it. I’ve never thought of love or a relationship as a race, it comes when it comes. I don’t think you need to look for it actively but you need to actively make yourself open to be looked at. If that makes sense. I think love finds you whenever it does, sometimes it just takes a little longer than usual. But that was said given my old, and ironically younger mindset. At this age, love can be tougher to find than 10 or 5 years ago.

I just want all my friends to be happy, in loving relationships :) And I will try my best to ensure that happens for all my friends. Is that too much to ask?

Don’t Wanna Lose You Now – Backstreet Boys

Friday, August 5th, 2011 at 2:49 am

Don’t Wanna Lose You Now – Backstreet Boys

I can count a handful of people that know this is one of my favorite songs…
I don’t think any song could better express how I felt yesterday than this. As I listened to it now, each lyric like an emotional dagger to my heart. It’s not a happy song, but it’s a hopeful song. A song of overcoming obstacles…a song of desperation, a song of faith, a song of love.

To love someone so much that despite the stupid mistakes you’ve done, despite whatever obstacles you’re faced with, you can overcome it…together. It’s a love I guess I always wished to have, even when I didn’t have it. Something I understood in concept, even without an actual person.

I’ve always liked this song, going back to high school where it was never a single, but still one of my most played song. The song I sang in my singing competition. I hope that when I listen to this in the future, it will remind me of the last few days. I hope it will forever remind me not to be stupid, and not to take what I have for granted.

God, how could I have been so stupid…

Meganekko (Girls with Glasses)

Tuesday, April 26th, 2011 at 3:14 am

There was a post a couple days ago on Kotaku: What’s Japan Fetishizing This Week – Glasses

While I found much of the article to be a bore, I found one of the last paragraphs to be particularly interesting.

In Japan, Akiman points out, it’s thought that the reason people wear glasses is because they read too much or play too many video games or watch too much TV. According to Akiman, “The moment that someone puts on glasses, even if it’s Superman, they take on the appearance of being an introvert like me.” The reason why girls who wear glasses are appealing is that they thus appear to be introverts, and it’s easy for fellow introverts to relate to them. As Akiman says, girls with glasses become “one of us”. Thus, the glasses themselves become an object of fetish. “Japanese people are basically introverted,” says Akiman, “and I think that’s why this fetish has grown.”

I’m going to reference this monologue later as well, so I’ll post it here. It’s from the Seinfeld episode, “The Sponge”:

“I have a friend, wears eyeglasses, no prescription in the glasses because he thinks it makes him look more intelligent. Now why? Why do we think that glasses makes us look more intelligent? Is it from the endless hours of reading and studying and researching that this person supposedly blew out their eyeballs, and that’s why they need the glasses? It’s just a corrective device. If you see someone with a hearing aid, you don’t think, ‘Oh, they must have been listening real good…yeah, to a lot of important stuff…’ No, they are deaf. They can’t hear.”

Now, I can honestly say from much experience that I’m the type of person that likes a pair of stylish glasses on an attractive girl moreso than that same girl without the glasses. But it definitely has to be the right kind of glasses. I’m not talking nerd glasses that they have to wear. I’m talking about a girl, trying on various frames to find the right look for her. To find the one that screams “her”. The frames that visually define her personality. Now, I figure most women (and men) do this. Those that don’t do this don’t care about their appearance. And if they don’t care, why should I (or anyone?).

Anyways, what really caught my attention in the blockquote above was “introvert”. Being an introvert myself, I find I’m highly attracted to introvert girls. I’m intrigued by introvert men as well (well, not in that way). The reason is…there’s a connection there. Extroverts frankly…don’t interest me so much. I find they’re generally…free in ways that I’m not, they talk without thinking and do without thinking. And I don’t generally respect that. I’m a person that respects the mind and intelligence more than almost any other attribute. That’s not to say I only value that, but it’s always been very high on my respect list. A person will have my respect if they’re intelligent. It’s as simple as that. I will be nice, I will be patient, I will treat a person like a human being if they’re reasonably intelligent. And I won’t if they’re not. Yes, it’s horrible, but it’s true. That’s just how I am.

Damn, I always get sidetracked with tangent rants. Back to the topic: I like glasses on a female because I immediately think 2 things
1. They’re intelligent.
2. They’re introverts.

2 wins. 2 things that I’m just drawn to. But really, what’s the basis for the first point. Like the Seinfeld monologue (quoted above), is there a correlation between glasses an intelligence? Sometimes?….but that might just be coincidence. There’s also genetics involved, plus a number of other things I would list to sound like I know what I’m talking about but at 3AM, am too lazy to research tonight.

Now, I wore my prescriptionless glasses to work today. I did it on purpose, partially because of this post and the kotaku post and partially because…well, I like the way I look in them. It’s funny but one of the first things that someone said to me (who hadn’t seen me wear my prescriptionless glasses before) was that “I look smarter”. Despite possibly no correlation between glasses and intelligence, you can’t deny the fact that people associate the two together.

I didn’t really think about all this glasses stuff until the Kotaku article peaked my interest. This hasn’t been the first time I’ve worn my prescriptionless glasses for no apparent reason. I won’t even wear my prescription glasses in public because the lenses are so thick…I’m simply too vain for that. So I wear these glasses for 3 reasons.
1. I believe I look more intelligent and people believe I look more intelligent. A trait that’s important to me.
2. I believe I look good in them.
The newly discovered #3 is:
3. I want to look introverted and attract other introverts.

I mean…if I’m attracted to people with glasses (meaning I believe they’re introverts), then by wearing glasses, it’s possible that I’ll attract other introverts…? Well, I don’t quite know how that theory plays out in a girl head though. Are introverted women attracted to introverted or extroverted men? The mind of a woman is something I’ll never understand. Y’know, because b!tches be trippin’

I’ve said it before (in my Scott Pilgrim post for example) but I’m basically attracted to a female version of myself. But I definitely believe that a person like myself would not be the best person FOR me. Because there are so many aspects about myself that I hate, the insecurity, the antisocial behaviour, the arrogance, the narcissism…dealing with someone with similar traits, on a daily and frequent basis would get super annoying. Being arrogant and talking to an arrogant person is one of the most frustrating and annoying things ever. And two narcissistic people in a relationship just…wouldn’t work. I’m a taker, not a giver…so I need a giver to balance the relationship out. “You don’t always get what you want but sometimes you get what you need”. I don’t even know if that quote applies to my paragraph, I’m so insanely tired….but I’ve been rewatching all the House episodes (currently near the end of Season 3) and that just popped into my head.

Damn, another tangent rant. Anyways, I’m basically that girl I described above, the one who cares about how they look and is trying to identify the right image to define me. I’m the guy with <insert descriptive word> hair. I wear untucked dress shirts and sneakers. I don’t care about my clothes but I care about my image. And I wear non-prescription glasses to compliment my image and convey the exact same things that I find attractive: Intelligence and an Introverted personality. Granted, I don’t wear these glasses as often as I could…partially because it doesn’t make logical sense to wear them and partially because, for some reason, I always feel like I have an oily forehead when I wear glasses :S It’s weird. Probably psychological. But true. Don’t ask me.

And this all brings me to this image, which is featured on my About Me page

I posted this image a while ago, when I got my prescriptionless glasses I think. Before I thought about the glasses thing and introvert thing. Before I thought about WHY I like wearing glasses.

Why didn’t I post an image without glasses, the look I have 95% of the time I go out?

No, I posted the image that conveyed the things I like and respect. I posted the image that I felt defined me best.

The Mixed Tape

Saturday, November 6th, 2010 at 12:39 am

Jack’s Mannequin – The Mixed Tape

Where are you now?
As I’m swimming through the stereo
I’m writing you a symphony of sound
Where are you now?
As I rearrange the songs again
This mix could burn a hole in anyone
But it was you I was thinking of

I don’t know, something about this song and it’s discussion of a making a mixed tape has reminded me of various songs which I associate with people I’ve liked or have liked me (or both). And I’m wondering “Where are you now?”. I have no idea where the majority of them are or what they’re doing. There are few I keep in touch with, some I have as friends on Facebook but don’t talk to ever…and it’s odd because again, spending/talking to someone, enough that there’s a one-way or two-sided attraction….and then down the road, there’s nothing except a memory. I mean, people change but at some point, there’s a moment in both these people where a romantic relationship exists. Is it that difficult to have and maintain a lifelong romantic relationship with someone? Some people find that connection early, some people find it later, and some never find it at all. But at some point, I hope everyone in their life experiences that potential for a lifelong romantic relationship. The feeling of liking someone and having that feeling reciprocated…is awesome.

Wow, I just started randomly listening to another song…which happens to relate specifically to what I’m writing about….well, the start of the song:

Backstreet Boys – I Still…

Who are you now?
Are you still the same
Or did you change somehow?
What do you do?
At this very moment
When I think of you
And when I’m looking back
How we were young and stupid
Do you remember that?

/remembering the past…and smiling at how young and stupid i used to be…

Review – Scott Pilgrim (graphic novel) & The Women in Scott Pilgrim

Wednesday, August 18th, 2010 at 1:37 am

***SPOILER ALERT FURTHER DOWN…You’ve been warned***

I’ve read the 6 Scott Pilgrim graphic novels completely twice now, in order, panel by panel, and skimmed through individual volumes quite a bit lately. I’ve only owned them for maybe 2 or 3 weeks now…

I’ve found the world of Scott Pilgrim to be hilarious and entertaining, I love the references to a number (at least 5) of Toronto places that are actually within a 15 minute walk from where I live. It’s awesome. I played the PS3 8-bit Scott Pilgrim game for 2 nights, beat it on all 4 characters and got them $9999.99 each. I’ve yet to see the movie, waiting for Z to read the volumes before we see it….but I may have to see it despite her lack of motivation to be a perfectionist and witness the universe in the chronological order that the products were released. Yeah….I’m the odd one, I know.

Anyways, the 6 volumes are a masterpiece. There are some parts where I’m totally like Scott Pilgrim.


and other parts where I’m intrigued about his character. He’s mysterious, as are many of the characters in the graphic novel. I find him innocent and charming (in his way), trying to forget the bad decisions he’s made the the bad parts of the person he is. Trying to do right despite being a bit of an idiot, trying to be good and change for Ramona. It’s really a “coming of age” story for Scott Pilgrim when you get past all the sillyness, video games, and hilarious absurdities.

I remember reading this (below) in Volume 1 in literally LOLing. I mean, I say “lol” a lot but I’d say that I rarely do it when I’m alone..but this…this is when I knew this Scott Pilgrim thing was just for someone like me:


Again. Sooo me. Even the way he speaks…

What I find somewhat perplexing is the love of all these women in his world. Despite being a bit of a goof, he’s got the adoration of Knives Chau, the long time infatuation of Lisa Miller, a previous relationship with Kim Pine, a previous relationship with Envy Adams, and a relationship with Ramona Flowers. Maybe he’s just really handsome/cute looking “in real life” though not artistically captured in the graphic volume…which I realize is an absurd statement in itself because…you know, everything’s fictional and (until the movie), everything existed in the graphic novel.

I can understand why the girls all like him:
Scott Pilgrim shows Knives a world she’s not accustomed too, much like the Aladdin-Jasmine relationship from Disney’s Aladdin (1992). Man I’m such a girl. Anyways, Knives is just…intrigued by the crazy world Scott’s from and wants to experience this whole new world with him. Again, I’m such a girl.

Lisa Miller is best friends with Scott only to have him fall for another girl, Kim Pine. He’s completely unaware of these deep feelings she has and he never really realizes what he means to her. Years later, Lisa’s probably thinking how Scott was “the one that got away”….well, not quite, it’s high school. But I can understand her wish to have an unrequited love return her feelings, even after so many years.

Kim Pine obviously had/has a connection with Scott when they were young but probably became a bit bitter and angry regarding how her relationship with Scott ended. Again, it’s Scott being an idiot…selfish and a child…but he was young. And stupid. Honestly, I didn’t care for her character much until her departure in chapter 5 as well as her support in chapter 6. Of all the characters…well, women…in the series, I like her the best. Realistic and grounded, sarcastic, brutally honest, intelligent….she looks like she hates the world but I can see a very warm character in her, albeit a bit bitter given some of her life experiences. Wait a sec…I just realized (after proof-reading) that I described liking her for reasons and characteristics that describe me! That must be a form of…self incest or something…Maybe I like her because I see similarities…I’ll have to give this character more thought…

Envy Adam. He might be the only one that really knew the original her. The Natalie V. in her and not the public Envy that the world knows. Well, he should know her…it seems his memory is, as always, a bit of a failing of his. His interpretation of events clearly bias themselves towards his benefit. She’s still attracted to him because he’s the ground in her high flying world.

Ramona Flowers. She’s obviously had some bad experiences with boys in the past, they’ve treated her poorly though she’s treated them equally as bad. Cheated on some of them, left them for other guys that “walk by”. She’s looking for someone who will stick with her mess of a life, someone who won’t hurt her, a nice guy. She’s a bit annoyed when she finds out Scott cheated on her…or…specifically on Knives for her. She expected better and that’s why she’s with him. And that’s why they stay together…because by the end of the volumes, Scott’s more mature and still genuinely a nice guy…

Now, why he likes them. Or why he should. Or shouldn’t.
Knives. Shouldn’t. Rebound girlfriend. Not real…Scott’s an idiot here.
Lisa Miller. Should. His teenage best friend. She’s totally in love with him, he’s just too stupid to realize it. There probably should have been something there. Or specifically, there should be (kudos to you if you got that).
Envy Adams. Should. She’s hot now. Shouldn’t. But a celebrity…don’t do it Scott, it’s a trap! Too much hassle.
Ramona Flowers. Should…NOT. She’s mysterious…I liked her a lot too but the more you read, the more high maintenance she becomes, the more baggage she has, and the better…
Kim Pine turns out to be. Scott SHOULD be with Kim Pine. That’s the girl I’d choose. <3 Honestly, I'm bit more intrigued by the personalities of the girls, their point of view, personalities and character. Well Scott's fun and similar to me, I'm afraid he's simply a bit too unrealistic as a human to empathize with. The girls are different though, they're realistic, well developed, they each have their own spot light and defining moments. I love Scott Pilgrim's precious little life (kudos to you if you got that too). I’m envious for all the amazing women in his life that love his stupid ass. He’s a socially retarded, socially stunted, immature, forgetful, selfish, boy. But he’s genuinely nice (or, he tries to be), he’s childish, innocent, believes smoking is evil, doesn’t drink (or claims not to). There are similarities as well as differences with his character and my own. I find it easy to be placed in his shoes and make the decisions he’s made but difficult to understand them. It’s…confusing. Identifiable but not identifiable at the same time.

What can I say about this graphic novel…it’s like a video game-highschool-Dawson’s Creek/One Tree Hill/Gilmore Girls/The O.C./<insert other highschool show I’ve watched and enjoyed>

I’m a sucker for love stories. I love realistic ones. Well, realistic characters. I enjoy empathizing with them. Being sucked in their world and watching/analyzing their decisions. Characters like these are as believable as any real person to me if I can understand their feelings. The moment I can’t understand them or their decisions, I dislike them. They aren’t realistic. And that’s when I stop being interested. Note: It’s okay to disagree with their decisions, as long as they’re made somewhat rationally. When a relationship simply does not make any sense <insert random O.C. relationship>, and I can’t even understand it, much less agree with it, that’s when I stop watching/reading.

/wrote so much on Scott Pilgrim….I really really hearted this book (kudos to you if you got that too). I think it changed the way I wrote the last two posts. I felt passion again, after so long and wrote a post worthy of my site.