Warren Shea - World of Warren

Archive for the ‘Love’ Category

An analogy for chopping someone.

Tuesday, December 13th, 2011 at 11:24 pm

First, let me explain chopping, as I’ve only recently discovered this slang this year (I think I’m two thousand and late).
To chop – To court, to flirt, to mack. They all mean the same thing.

Chopping comes with an analogy of holding something for chopping though.
“I brought out my big axe for chopping this girl” means “I was really using my A game to hit on her”
“I was only chopping this girl with a plastic butter knife cuz I didn’t have much sleep” means “I’m too tired to flirt with this girl”
“This girl was fugly so I didn’t even bring my axe” means “I’m just going to be friends with this ugly girl”
I think this is me talking ghetto or gangsta, with a hint of my regular, well behaved self so you’ll have to pardon my gangsta english. It’s not natural to me.

Anyways – to my analogy.
When I was in high school, I used to equate chopping to being in a war.
The guy brings out his army. He plans his methods of attack. He tries to attack from different angles. He covers as much area as he can. He sends all his troops out to get the girl/win the war. He does all this sh!t. But the girl on the other side of the battle just has to press the “NUKE” button to win the war. It’s THAT easy for her.

It equates to basically – A guy can spend lots of time and money chopping a girl. He can play subtle games, be manipulative, cock block other guys, he can plan things out, read into signals, I dunno, whatever guys do when they chop. He can do everything in his power to get a girl to like him. But when he asks her to take the next step (go out, date, be boyfriend/girlfriend), it’s a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’ from the girl that can end the war. Either the guy wins the battle or he cries out “Nooooooooo!!!!*” and everything he’s done is blown to smithereens.

.
.
.

Sometimes listening to girls is really weird, they’re so oblivious to a guy’s intentions [and no, it’s not always about sex]. But I guess it’s fair that men don’t really understand women either.

I can’t say my track record with women is great. I’ve generally tended to often go for girls that were already in relationships (homewrecker!). The (best?) part about that was….I never really put myself out there to be rejected for no reason. As in, if I ever told anyone I liked them, there was always either “Uh, I’m in a relationship…you idiot” or something like that. An excuse. I can’t say I’ve ever been flat out rejected because I never really went with someone full force, where there wasn’t an excuse of some sort for being together. I guess that’s a way of protecting myself from true failure.

I’m glad I’m out of the game. Being out there is not fun and I imagine it’s pretty difficult at this point [at the age of 30ish] for a guy where many of the girls our age are married or in relationships. Yes, there are eligible single girls out there. But you have to find them out of the non-eligible single girls. Of course, you can always go for a younger girl. That’s what I’d suggest for a guy my age…but I always did like younger girls. Except in one case.

I’ve had relationships on my mind lately. Engaged couples and single guys and girls. People that are looking for that special someone and people that have just crossed a special someone off their list of people to be with (a break up). I’ve been thinking about that stuff a lot lately…how some people don’t know how to get what they want. Or how people don’t know what they want. I always find it bizarre how two people can care about each other, but after they break up – hate each others guts. It occurs in messy divorces, it occurs in teenage romances, it occurs all the time. I guess people change, but I just find it a bit strange that you can love someone at one point, and hate them later.

As I was saying, I’ve been thinking a lot about how people don’t know how to get what they want. I guess that’s easy to say from the other side. I’ve got a good thing going as long as I don’t blow it. I’ve never thought of love or a relationship as a race, it comes when it comes. I don’t think you need to look for it actively but you need to actively make yourself open to be looked at. If that makes sense. I think love finds you whenever it does, sometimes it just takes a little longer than usual. But that was said given my old, and ironically younger mindset. At this age, love can be tougher to find than 10 or 5 years ago.

I just want all my friends to be happy, in loving relationships :) And I will try my best to ensure that happens for all my friends. Is that too much to ask?

Posted in All Posts, Life, Love, Love, My Life, Past | No Comments »

Catherine

Sunday, August 14th, 2011 at 3:08 am

I’ve been playing Catherine lately, during the wee hours of the night. Like, 2am-5am type playing. I can’t play too late because it’s fundamentally a puzzle game and, due to my need for perfection, I don’t play when my mind is sluggish. I need to be alert and sharp to achieve good times, make few mistakes, and keep getting that “gold” trophy for every stage.

What I’m really enjoying are the moral questions and dilemmas in here. It’s very much a role playing game and I’m definitely trying to be honest with my choices and what I/the character says. It’s very true to me, which is good. I’m very much looking forward to how this plays out. While there’s a lot to this character that doesn’t apply to me, there is quite a bit that does….universally applies to most men around my age and in my situation.

Something really interesting is that this game asks questions and tracks first-time responses to those questions (I guess they try to capture people’s honest opinions, because a person would generally pick honestly their first time around…and maybe lie in their second or third iterations).

Some of the questions, my answers, and the breakdown of everyone’s answers.

1. Is marriage the point where life begins or ends?
I answered: Begins
Others answered: Begins- 80-85% | Ends – 15%-20%

2. Do you put your job first as a priority in your life?
I answered: Yes
Others answered: Yes – 15-20% | No – 80%-85%

3. Have you ever gotten a bloody nose from excitement?
I answered: Yes
Others answered: Yes – 30% | No – 70%
*These are some personal questions here. I think it only happened to me once in my life. It was definitely within the last 5 years and I remember, when I got it, thinking “wtf? man, this is just like in those animes!! now I get it….” *

4. Do you consider yourself a pervert?
I answered: “No use denying it”
Others answered: “No use denying it” – 70% | “I don’t think so” – 30%
*Jeez, another personal question…not one I’d really like to share over the internet but…ah well. I think that this question is a bit biased based on the people playing this game…I figure many of them are like me. Guys. And…well…this is an “erotic action horror puzzle” game….so I figure the people playing it would be (key word is erotic).

5. Do you buy things according to trends/spend money on fads
I answered: No
Others answered: No – 70% | Yes – 30%

And that’s all I’ve gotten so far. I’m on the 4th night, and there are 8 nights…so I guess I’m 25-50% done. It only gets harder from here so I dunno. I’ll post the other ones when I encounter them.

The puzzles are tough….and really suspenseful. There are 2-3 levels per night and all of them except the last are fairly easy going. You have some time to practice skills….but the last one, you’re always being chased by some fucking messed up or creepy creature. Today, I was chased by this giant creepy undead zombie baby. Pacifier and all. It was not cute at all and I must say, was pretty fucked up. But that’s the game…I can’t wait to see what other scary or disturbing shit this game has got in store for me. Oh yeah, I get scared pretty easily….so I don’t like to play this game right before sleeping. That last level, I’m always close to dying, and always on the edge of my seat, thinking in all the critical moments. This game is pretty stupid hard, even on easy (which is what I’m playing it at…make fun if you want, but I’m mostly playing this for story….and I don’t wanna be frustrated on these stupid puzzles).

What I find best about this game is it’s making me think. It makes me think about life, my future, my job, my girlfriend, marriage, babies, and everything else that complicates things. Like, when I play it, I think “Frig, I don’t wanna think about this stuff”. It’s just like the character I’m playing, Vincent. But I’m learning that time doesn’t stand still, regardless of how much you might want it to. I’ve said time and time again that I love my life how it is now. I’ve definitely hit this phase where everything is great….I don’t really want to ruin it all with major adjustments to life. Not that I think marriage is one…but…kids….definitely. I’ve wanted kids my entire life up until the last year or so when I’ve just been thinking how much fun I’m having now, and how much I don’t want the responsibilities of a kid. I know I can’t be lazy ol’ sleep at 7am for 13 hours on weekends person anymore. But I loooooove that person :'(

Anyways, I think this game has helped me face difficult questions about my future. Where I would run and hide or avoid these types of questions in real life, you HAVE to face them in the game, so it really makes me think “what would I do?”….and because I’m controlling Vincent, I make him act out what I would do…and well, it feels better. It feels good to be decisive….

Anyways, that’s enough outta me. I think I need a break from Catherine, I played it for 3-4 hours today, and 2-3 hours last night. I’ll play it again next weekend :)

Posted in All Posts, Family, Friends, Introspection, Love, My Life | No Comments »

Don’t Wanna Lose You Now – Backstreet Boys

Friday, August 5th, 2011 at 2:49 am

Don’t Wanna Lose You Now – Backstreet Boys

I can count a handful of people that know this is one of my favorite songs…
I don’t think any song could better express how I felt yesterday than this. As I listened to it now, each lyric like an emotional dagger to my heart. It’s not a happy song, but it’s a hopeful song. A song of overcoming obstacles…a song of desperation, a song of faith, a song of love.

To love someone so much that despite the stupid mistakes you’ve done, despite whatever obstacles you’re faced with, you can overcome it…together. It’s a love I guess I always wished to have, even when I didn’t have it. Something I understood in concept, even without an actual person.

I’ve always liked this song, going back to high school where it was never a single, but still one of my most played song. The song I sang in my singing competition. I hope that when I listen to this in the future, it will remind me of the last few days. I hope it will forever remind me not to be stupid, and not to take what I have for granted.

God, how could I have been so stupid…

Posted in All Posts, Life, Love, Love, Music, My Life | No Comments »

Meganekko (Girls with Glasses)

Tuesday, April 26th, 2011 at 3:14 am

There was a post a couple days ago on Kotaku: What’s Japan Fetishizing This Week – Glasses

While I found much of the article to be a bore, I found one of the last paragraphs to be particularly interesting.

In Japan, Akiman points out, it’s thought that the reason people wear glasses is because they read too much or play too many video games or watch too much TV. According to Akiman, “The moment that someone puts on glasses, even if it’s Superman, they take on the appearance of being an introvert like me.” The reason why girls who wear glasses are appealing is that they thus appear to be introverts, and it’s easy for fellow introverts to relate to them. As Akiman says, girls with glasses become “one of us”. Thus, the glasses themselves become an object of fetish. “Japanese people are basically introverted,” says Akiman, “and I think that’s why this fetish has grown.”

I’m going to reference this monologue later as well, so I’ll post it here. It’s from the Seinfeld episode, “The Sponge”:

“I have a friend, wears eyeglasses, no prescription in the glasses because he thinks it makes him look more intelligent. Now why? Why do we think that glasses makes us look more intelligent? Is it from the endless hours of reading and studying and researching that this person supposedly blew out their eyeballs, and that’s why they need the glasses? It’s just a corrective device. If you see someone with a hearing aid, you don’t think, ‘Oh, they must have been listening real good…yeah, to a lot of important stuff…’ No, they are deaf. They can’t hear.”

Now, I can honestly say from much experience that I’m the type of person that likes a pair of stylish glasses on an attractive girl moreso than that same girl without the glasses. But it definitely has to be the right kind of glasses. I’m not talking nerd glasses that they have to wear. I’m talking about a girl, trying on various frames to find the right look for her. To find the one that screams “her”. The frames that visually define her personality. Now, I figure most women (and men) do this. Those that don’t do this don’t care about their appearance. And if they don’t care, why should I (or anyone?).

Anyways, what really caught my attention in the blockquote above was “introvert”. Being an introvert myself, I find I’m highly attracted to introvert girls. I’m intrigued by introvert men as well (well, not in that way). The reason is…there’s a connection there. Extroverts frankly…don’t interest me so much. I find they’re generally…free in ways that I’m not, they talk without thinking and do without thinking. And I don’t generally respect that. I’m a person that respects the mind and intelligence more than almost any other attribute. That’s not to say I only value that, but it’s always been very high on my respect list. A person will have my respect if they’re intelligent. It’s as simple as that. I will be nice, I will be patient, I will treat a person like a human being if they’re reasonably intelligent. And I won’t if they’re not. Yes, it’s horrible, but it’s true. That’s just how I am.

Damn, I always get sidetracked with tangent rants. Back to the topic: I like glasses on a female because I immediately think 2 things
1. They’re intelligent.
2. They’re introverts.

2 wins. 2 things that I’m just drawn to. But really, what’s the basis for the first point. Like the Seinfeld monologue (quoted above), is there a correlation between glasses an intelligence? Sometimes?….but that might just be coincidence. There’s also genetics involved, plus a number of other things I would list to sound like I know what I’m talking about but at 3AM, am too lazy to research tonight.

Now, I wore my prescriptionless glasses to work today. I did it on purpose, partially because of this post and the kotaku post and partially because…well, I like the way I look in them. It’s funny but one of the first things that someone said to me (who hadn’t seen me wear my prescriptionless glasses before) was that “I look smarter”. Despite possibly no correlation between glasses and intelligence, you can’t deny the fact that people associate the two together.

I didn’t really think about all this glasses stuff until the Kotaku article peaked my interest. This hasn’t been the first time I’ve worn my prescriptionless glasses for no apparent reason. I won’t even wear my prescription glasses in public because the lenses are so thick…I’m simply too vain for that. So I wear these glasses for 3 reasons.
1. I believe I look more intelligent and people believe I look more intelligent. A trait that’s important to me.
2. I believe I look good in them.
The newly discovered #3 is:
3. I want to look introverted and attract other introverts.

I mean…if I’m attracted to people with glasses (meaning I believe they’re introverts), then by wearing glasses, it’s possible that I’ll attract other introverts…? Well, I don’t quite know how that theory plays out in a girl head though. Are introverted women attracted to introverted or extroverted men? The mind of a woman is something I’ll never understand. Y’know, because b!tches be trippin’

I’ve said it before (in my Scott Pilgrim post for example) but I’m basically attracted to a female version of myself. But I definitely believe that a person like myself would not be the best person FOR me. Because there are so many aspects about myself that I hate, the insecurity, the antisocial behaviour, the arrogance, the narcissism…dealing with someone with similar traits, on a daily and frequent basis would get super annoying. Being arrogant and talking to an arrogant person is one of the most frustrating and annoying things ever. And two narcissistic people in a relationship just…wouldn’t work. I’m a taker, not a giver…so I need a giver to balance the relationship out. “You don’t always get what you want but sometimes you get what you need”. I don’t even know if that quote applies to my paragraph, I’m so insanely tired….but I’ve been rewatching all the House episodes (currently near the end of Season 3) and that just popped into my head.

Damn, another tangent rant. Anyways, I’m basically that girl I described above, the one who cares about how they look and is trying to identify the right image to define me. I’m the guy with <insert descriptive word> hair. I wear untucked dress shirts and sneakers. I don’t care about my clothes but I care about my image. And I wear non-prescription glasses to compliment my image and convey the exact same things that I find attractive: Intelligence and an Introverted personality. Granted, I don’t wear these glasses as often as I could…partially because it doesn’t make logical sense to wear them and partially because, for some reason, I always feel like I have an oily forehead when I wear glasses :S It’s weird. Probably psychological. But true. Don’t ask me.

And this all brings me to this image, which is featured on my About Me page

I posted this image a while ago, when I got my prescriptionless glasses I think. Before I thought about the glasses thing and introvert thing. Before I thought about WHY I like wearing glasses.

Why didn’t I post an image without glasses, the look I have 95% of the time I go out?

No, I posted the image that conveyed the things I like and respect. I posted the image that I felt defined me best.

Posted in All Posts, Daily Randomness, Introspection, Life, Love, Love, Miscellaneous, My Life, Past | No Comments »

Foggy Dew + TFC game

Saturday, March 26th, 2011 at 11:59 pm

Went to a bar, Foggy Dew, last night with my friends. Had some good chatting, some interesting conversations.

Had a Stella, a Black Velvet (a beer cocktail made from stout beer, often Guinness, and white, sparkling wine, traditionally champagne), and a 1L stein of Hacker Pschorr. Afterwards, I had a sparkling wine…so that’s about 4-5 drinks. Less than Bier Market night but I find my tolerance is much worse when I’m at bars or alone than when I’m at a club. I think that’s always been the case…I’m much better with alcohol when I’m on the dance floor than when it’s quiet and I’m sitting still…

We had some interesting discussions last night, my friends and I. Not quite the deep talk I wanted but some of the conversations were eye openers. It started off with one of my friends asking if it was okay to hit on a girl while she has a boyfriend. Out of the 6 guys there yesterday night, 2 of them had personal experience not only being interested in taken girls (which happens quite frequently I’m sure) but succeeding in breaking up the relationships. Well…one was successful, one was….ultimately successful, after a long, long period of time. Note that I call it “successful” in the sense that my friends had accomplished the goal they set out to do: replace the girl’s existing boyfriend. My friend who was asking the question also asked “wouldn’t you feel guilty if you broke them up?”. While I can see his reasoning, I imagine that the primary goal would be to break the couple up and while you may feel guilty, you wouldn’t feel guilty enough that it would prevent you from doing it. I mean, if I were to break a couple up…and I can think of an instance where I almost did, I either wouldn’t do it, or would do it and wouldn’t feel guilty. I mean, in the situation specific to me, the girl would fight with her boyfriend, break up and get back together repeatedly….she was a great girl and I, despite not knowing anything about the guy, deemed him unworthy of her and felt she could do better….(…with me).

Side story on that…I would talk to his girl a lot, see her for lunch during my co-op term (we worked at different places, but they were right across the street from each other). Anyways, we would trade emails back and forth…and eventually one day, her boyfriend read her emails (not cool)…and then got all jealous and they fought and almost broke up. Some more stuff happened…in the end, it would be her deciding, for the sake of her relationship, that my part in her life would be done. Eventually, the two of us continued to be friends and after the relationship I had worked to destroy…eventually fell apart, as I knew it would. And I would talk to her after and she would tell me how happy she was that she wasn’t with that guy anymore. Anyways, I must say that I was probably a really big factor of why they broke up. And I don’t feel the slightest bit guilty. She’s happily married now, I talk to her like, once a year…but she’s doing well.

Anyways, back to the point…if someone were interested in a taken girl, the intention of doing an improper, but fair deed exists. “All’s fair in love and war”. But the intention is understood, regardless of how guilty you may feel, if you actively pursue this intention, then you are indeed committing a foul act.

I also pointed out that while someone might be interested in a girl, it is completely up to the girl to determine what happens. She could ignore the person infatuated with her and stay loyal to her boyfriend, she could play around with both and determine who to be with, or she could leave her boyfriend for the new guy. In scenario two and three (which occurred with my two friends), while successfully “winning” the girl, I noted that immediately after she has been “won”, she depreciates in value. This is because her trust is no longer spotless and her loyalty is in question for all subsequent relationships.

Anyways…both those relationships, in which my friends broke couples up, didn’t last. 1 year and 3 years. However, one of my other friend’s relationship in which he did that is still going strong at 2 years…

Hm, I just noticed that in all 3 of these situations, let’s say 4 including my own, it was the guy that went after the taken girl. Do girls ever go after taken guys? I would assume it’s less likely based on personal statistics. Guys are more…I dunno, I think in at least 3 of these cases, the guy just didn’t care about the boyfriend of the girl they were interested in. The girl is the only focus, the only goal, the only prize. Not that women are objects!. Just kidding, they totally are. And moments after reading this, all my female readers kick me in the balls.

Anyways.

Got a bit side tracked. Let’s see…after going to the bar, we went to my friend’s loft. I was the last one to leave, staying until just after midnight…I cabbed home, close to puking…but I was okay…I guess. I immediately crawled into bed, I wasn’t in the mood for drunken blogging or even staying awake a moment longer. My head was pounding and I definitely could have puked if I tried. But I was resisting. The point of yesterday night, in my eyes, was actually to drink so much that I’d puke. When I was at my friend’s place, telling them I’d never puked before, like 3 or 4 of them shot up with wide eyes in disbelief. I felt…like a drunken puke virgin. How embarrassing. Anyways…it wouldn’t be fun if you TRIED to puke because that’d be too easy. No, the next time I want to drunken puke, I’ll have to earn it. So I crawled into bed…the alcoholic effects yesterday night were some I haven’t had in a while and don’t usually get anymore. See, when I drink, I get hot. Like, I get red, my skin gets warm. VERY warm. It’s somewhat like a fever, in which my skin is hot but the feeling I have is cold. Very cold. So I was shivering, with double blankets as I slept last night…I fell asleep immediately but woke up very often to…use the restroom. I had already woken up 3 times in the middle of the night so when I woke up the 4th, I looked at the time…it was 4:30am. “That’s it?” I thought. Anyways, I woke up again at 6….this time drinking quite a bit of water before I went back to sleep. The shivers were almost gone but my head was pounding. Woke up again at 8:30…and 9:10…but then slept well, headacheless til 11:30am, when I woke up to get ready for the TFC game. I was really worried that I’d be too hung over or sick or messed up to go to the game. I would hate to bail 2.5 hours before it started.

Eventually, I got myself ready. While I didn’t drink during the game (I was still trying to sober up a bit), I had 1 foot long hot dog, and 1 foot long smoked chili hot dog (cheese, sour cream, and chili). My co-workers (as I got the TFC tickets through work) shouted that “Warren likes to eat big wieners!” as we were sitting around, in the spectators. I didn’t deny it, as I totally inhaled the hot dog. It was very good. And juicy. I just wrote all that to give my co-worker, who reads this blog, a laugh :)

A video of how close my seats were

I took some pictures, but they turned out really weird/ugly. Maybe it was the sun that was out? It’s like the soccer game from a radioactive, apocalyptic future!

Anyways…off to try to do something productive.

Posted in All Posts, Daily Randomness, Friends, Love, My Life, Past | 6 Comments »