I’ve contemplated death since I was fairly young. There were some personal issues that my family had, surprisingly not related to death at all. I was very young at the time, probably around 8…I tried to figure out why my family had…issues. Despite no evidence whatsoever, I assumed that they were scared of death. Looking back, I don’t think it was that at all…it was just my imagination running off on me…

I often daydream…”what would happen if I were to suddenly die”. If I died tomorrow, how would people remember me? Would people who know me (but not very well), visit my site and read/learn things about me and realize there’s more (or less) to me than they thought? 5 or 8 years down the line, if I have kids and my site is still working…would this site be the best way for my kids to learn about me? A picture isn’t quite worth a thousand words when it doesn’t really answer any of the important questions.
“What was he like?”
“Why did he make certain choices in life and how did he lead his life?”

You can get answers for those questions from people that know me best but most people don’t speak ill of the dead. I’d prefer it if people spoke of my life or myself, to “Tell it truly; the ill deeds along with the good, and let me be judged accordingly” (that’s a line right out of Beast Wars – if you recognize the line, it’s my favorite episode of the series). But even those stories from other people are not first hand experiences. Journals, blogs, written thoughts…those are probably the best way to connect to a person. When I write…I often write to preserve myself. To write about anything and everything, to try to discuss anything I’m passionate about and feel that connection with someone else. To touch the lives of others and know that I’ve made a difference.

As people, making a difference in someone’s life is important. It means a part of you is a part of them. That even if something were to happen to you, a part of you lives on in every life you’ve touched. It’s all about legacy…

Lex Luthor, despite his intelligence and greatest, his legacy will be dwarfed compared to that of Superman. That’s why he hates Superman so. In a world where he should be king, he can’t help but be perceived as a mere spec compared to Superman. How annoying for him. I feel his frustration and anger.

I’ve been told before that this site is basically me…in a blog. Though intended as a simple comment, I’ve found that comment to be very…reassuring. If the goal of this website is to represent me as closely as possible, I can think of no higher compliment.

I have no children. I have a ton of material possessions. I have toys, comics, dvds. But those aren’t unqiue to me. If I were to pass on, what do I offer that’s specifically unique to me? Without children and the life I would give them…do I have nothing? I have the people I’ve touched….but in 100 years, that won’t mean anything. What can I offer the world? What’s my legacy? More importantly, what’s yours?

/feels good to write again