Sad, sad day. My 9.5-day vacation ends…the last week seemed like a too-good-too-be-true life…the daily stress was pretty much gone, everything was so….peaceful.

I’m not looking forward to tomorrow at all and I think that’s a sign that something’s wrong which is why I can’t really sleep. I mean, I understand that people wouldn’t want to go back to work, to stress, to all that…that’s not what my issue is. I just don’t want to go back to…all of that. All of it. I may be at my limit…in terms of my goals-to benefit-to happiness ratio. That’s what it’s really all about. My personal goals, my happiness, and my pay. Those keep me where I am but…the ratio’s approaching border-line. I needed my vacation cuz I was BURNT OUT. And you know, I don’t think that’s going to change sadly…give it 2 days and I’m going to be exactly where I was. Not sure if I want to take much more of this…the grass is looking pretty green on the other side. And by “the other side”, I’m thinking any other place but here. I know I’ve been complaining a lot recently, most of it is just…talk. Some of you may be thinking I’m miserable…but I’m not. I’m just a bit tired…and my used-to-be-high goals-happiness-benefit ratio was much higher but it’s been going down…the new responsibilities I have aren’t fun. Not at all. I’ve been thinking about going back to being a mindless drone….like the old days. Leave work at work. Don’t stress about larger problems during after hours. Just do my hours and leave it at that. It’s looking pretty good right about now.

So, you may have noticed my vacation schedule stopped being updated. Gomen! The reason/purpose of the schedule was to see where I was wasting my time, as this last week was supposed to be devoted to improving myself in various ways. Unfortunately, vacation mode took over quite a bit…and, well…the days of relaxing turned from 2 days into 4, into 6…and by then, I’d started working on my halloween costume and…well, I eventually just decided to make it a totally veg-out vacation. I have time to learn stuff during the nights and I’m hoping my new “Accomplishments” blog post (to be posted tomorrow – er, Monday) will help keep me organized/motivated and keep the pressure on….

I’m just feeling really unsettled…it might just be because I’m coming off this vacation but…I dunno, it’s hard to say right now as I’m wired.

I think I’ll try to get some sleep….I had a 9.5-day vacation but sleeping from 4:30-8:30 = Warren, coming in pretty tired to work tomorrow…..not a good sign.

Tomorrow’s a new day, a new chance to start the rest of my life. Let’s see where it takes me tomorrow.