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Warren Shea

30 – 1 = OH GOD IM OLD

Friday, May 27th, 2011 at 12:21 am

When my friend turned 29 earlier this month, he “realized” that he had exactly one year left before hitting 30. He started thinking about what he wanted to accomplish in this upcoming year to fulfill whatever goals he wanted for that age.

As I hit 29, I’ve also been pondering what I want to do in this next year. What do I want to accomplish? Where do I want to be? What do I want to be doing?

It’s always good to take a step back from the road you’re on and think about where you want to be and how you want to get there.

As insightful as that might sound, as I reflect back on the past as well as look forward towards the future, the many answers to my questions are whispered to me with a resounding “I dunno…”.

I’m perfectly very happy with almost all aspects of my life with the exception of a couple. I don’t really feel motivated to do anything big or accomplish anything in the next year. I’m in a great place in my life right now, as I have been for years. My future looks promising. Not spectacular, but in no way a failure. There isn’t much I’m worried about…maybe money I guess. Not that I don’t have any but…well, it would always be useful to have more. I can do what I want when I want for most daily things but I can’t do a few things on my list such as: buy and move into a house. That’s the only thing I’m really wanting to do right now. Set up all my toys in nice shelves. On a smaller scale, I’d like to eventually buy a new car. And on an even smaller scale, I’d like to buy a nice camera. I’m 100% sure if I cut out my monthly shopping, I could afford one. Sigh…10 years ago I bought a Wacom tablet instead of a PS2 and I knew, after a few years, that this was a mistake. A few months in and I’m wondering if the Mac I’ve purchased could have better been used on a Camera. I still want to learn Mac stuff…but it’s just…hard to compete with the PC of which I’m so familiar with.

Anyways, got side tracked. The real want is the house. But I’m in no rush with that either. I like living in a condo, close to work…just north of the Toronto Downtown core. Even one such as I, a lazy, unmotivated computer hermit, can’t help but explore downtown by foot. And I’m at the perfect age and state for that. No kids…still relatively healthy. I like my condo. I just don’t have enough room with all my toys. Also, I want to put my toys up but I’m dying on shelf space.

I live a mediocre life. It’s average. Eventful and uneventful. Interesting and mundane. For one who needs balance….it is…well, what I’ve made of it thus far. And while some people may think my life has not been led to the fullest, and while others may think my life is too active for a self proclaimed social hermit, I find that everything is pretty much just right.

It’s definitely nice to reflect…and not be worried about anything. Though I wonder if my lack of motivation predicts future failure. Hopefully, as long as I keep busy and keep my mind relatively sharp, I will have a decent future. I haven’t painted myself into a corner just yet…

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