Yesterday night was tough. At around 10pm, I casually glanced at my hamster, Monica, and she was on her back, legs straight out. A “dead” position for sure, but she was breathing. Breathing really shallow, tiny breaths. It was crushing to watch. She looked like she was in so much pain. Z and I continued to watch her for about 2 hours, just sitting and being with her. It would be sad if she died alone if we were there. So we stayed…very sad.

Eventually, we succumb to tiredness as watching a dying hamster can only stimulate the mind for so long. I had to sleep around 1 for FanExpo, which I was supposed to wake up at 7am the next day (I ended up hitting the snooze til 8:30 >_<). I had an awful sleep. I woke up at 2am and checked on Monica. No change, she just lay there helplessly, breathing shallow. I woke up at 4am. No change. I woke up at 6am. She moved slightly, but no change. Woke up at 8:30am. She was on her front…actually, she looked okay. I pet her on the head a bit…usually she’d flick away (she doesn’t like that) but she just lay there. I was sure her time was done with. I come home from FanExpo 10 hours later, and to my delight, she’s eating seeds and moving as normal. It was an incredible feeling, like she’d been reborn. I honestly thought she was done for. Dying slowly until death. But it looks like she had suffered a hamster heart attack or something cuz she turned out to be okay, despite being in really really bad shape for a bit. I was so crushed. But it looks like she’s still got a few more days or weeks in her. She’s a fighter :) I hope that when her time comes, she passes quickly and doesn’t have to deal with a lot of pain. Honestly, it was truly heartbreaking watching her die infront of my eyes with nothing I could do. Anyways, I’m happy now. She’s got a little more time and I’m thrilled. That’s it. I’ll write about my FanExpo experience tomorrow.