Yesterday night was tough. At around 10pm, I casually glanced at my hamster, Monica, and she was on her back, legs straight out. A “dead” position for sure, but she was breathing. Breathing really shallow, tiny breaths. It was crushing to watch. She looked like she was in so much pain. Z and I continued to watch her for about 2 hours, just sitting and being with her. It would be sad if she died alone if we were there. So we stayed…very sad.
Eventually, we succumb to tiredness as watching a dying hamster can only stimulate the mind for so long. I had to sleep around 1 for FanExpo, which I was supposed to wake up at 7am the next day (I ended up hitting the snooze til 8:30 >_<). I had an awful sleep. I woke up at 2am and checked on Monica. No change, she just lay there helplessly, breathing shallow. I woke up at 4am. No change. I woke up at 6am. She moved slightly, but no change. Woke up at 8:30am. She was on her front…actually, she looked okay. I pet her on the head a bit…usually she’d flick away (she doesn’t like that) but she just lay there. I was sure her time was done with. I come home from FanExpo 10 hours later, and to my delight, she’s eating seeds and moving as normal. It was an incredible feeling, like she’d been reborn. I honestly thought she was done for. Dying slowly until death. But it looks like she had suffered a hamster heart attack or something cuz she turned out to be okay, despite being in really really bad shape for a bit. I was so crushed. But it looks like she’s still got a few more days or weeks in her. She’s a fighter :) I hope that when her time comes, she passes quickly and doesn’t have to deal with a lot of pain. Honestly, it was truly heartbreaking watching her die infront of my eyes with nothing I could do. Anyways, I’m happy now. She’s got a little more time and I’m thrilled. That’s it. I’ll write about my FanExpo experience tomorrow.
(She wasn’t born May 24, 2010…that’s just when I got her)
Hamsters don’t live that long. Only 2 years. In this case, just shy. Well, 2 of my 5 hamsters had already passed away before this date. Phoebe succumbed to…what I can only describe as a fall from grace, being the nicenest hammy and then turning to pure evil! I think I still have a mark for when she bit me on the finger, causing blood :/ Joey fell a short distance (she just ran out of a cage! she wasn’t dropped) and had a hamster concussion. She passed away shortly after.
Chandler got this…leg infection thing months ago. I’d actually seen it before and it’s what killed a previous hammy. But for some reason, Chandler survived shockingly long in spite of this. Anyways, Chandler, probably my favorite hamster ever, passed away today :( I’m sad, but not as sad as some of the other times hammies have passed. I guess I’m just used to it now. Actually, I predicted her death a few days ago after watching her struggle to walk properly, eat, and noticing her lack of movement and that she was sleeping a lot more than usual. I was kinda waiting for it to come any day now.
Anyways, here are some of my Chandler videos! She was the cutie hammy and I’ll miss her a lot :'(
Chandler cleaning herself part II.
My favorite parts are 1:00-1:07 and 1:15-1:25 ! I love when she uses her tiny little hands and runs them down her face! HER ARMS ARE TOO SHORT! And rarely will a hamster sit on their bum with their legs out, usually they clean themselves when on their feet. Not Chandler tho, she liked putting her butt on the ground :) She’s so white compared to her earlier videos…age is a crappy thing.
I’m trying to study and I hear “klak klak klak”. I ignore it. Minutes later, more “Klak klak klak klak”. It seems weird, the noise seems to be at random times, for random amounts of time, no pattern. This occurs for about 6 minutes. Finally, unable to concentrate, I go over to the hamster cage. I roll their wheels. Silence. I move the plastics away from the wheels. I sit back down. “Klak klak klak”. WTF is that noise?
I go study the cage and hamsters, to see what they’re doing and I see Phoebe running with a giant almond in her mouth. Running in the wheel. Apparently she’d been doing this for 10 minutes, carrying this almond around in her mouth. I watch as she runs with it and the almond slowly falls out of her mouth as she runs. It falls, trips her up, and she goes tumbling. This happened for a few minutes before I finally decided to take a video of the hilarity. Unfortunately, in the video, she only tumbles around a couple of times. Still, it was pretty funny….
Sadly, we had to separate the hamsters. Phoebe was picking on Monica first, and then Rachel. But when she scuffled with Rachel, there was blood :( Bite marks and blood on Rachel…so we had to separate them. We put Monica and Rachel inside a cage (*giggle* living together, just like in the show!) and Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey in one cage. Occasionally, we throw Chandler in Monica and Rachel’s cage for a threesome. Chandler is very friendly and gets along with everyone…we don’t want to move Joey as she’s partially blind so we don’t want to mess with her familiar surroundings.
It really sucks that we have been forced to separate the 5 hamsters, it’s all Phoebe’s fault :( The nicest hamster I’ve possibly ever had also turns out to be one of the meanest to the other hammies :( Bite marks and blood on Rachel but Phoebe has never bitten me once EVER. Even Chandler’s nibbled at me. Very sad….like your kid turned out to be retarded. Or evil. :S
It’s easily predictable. Phoebe has red eyes. Like the devil! She’s also pure white, the perfect disguise. But I know Phoebe’s really good, we just happened to pick up Phoebe’s twin sister, Ursula. What are the chances!? They’re twins!?
I spent literally all day yesterday working on my Naruto theme and no time today, working on it…despite wanting to. Web developer as a profession can sometimes be a demanding mistress.
Here are some old posts, combined into one. They’re recent ones I’ve combined with older posts or posts I post, and then delete…
I don’t want to blog for a few days….and focus my time entirely on the Naruto site so I hope this will tide my readers over for the short while…
Remember those “I rejoined WoW” posts? well….
…turns into *mischevious grin*
…turns into *uncontrolled urination EPIC LAUGH*
(that’s me, pretending like I joined WoW, but then…not holding in the secret and then laughing) – “MWHAHAHAH”
Anyways…can you believe it’s been NINE MONTHS since I quit WoW. NINE! and I have no plans to replay, even resisting the mighty temptation of addicting games such as StarCraft II and World of Warcraft: Cataclysm. I suck at RTS games anyways…unless it’s building towers (HeeeLLO TOWER DEFENSE: PLANTS VS ZOMBIES + Flash Element TD)
What was I saying? oh yeah…quitting WoW in early January…building and launching website in early April…consistently tweeting, blogging, facebooking, learning about .NET and photography, having one of the busiest summers I’ve ever had….life is certainly being uh…lived right now, by me.
Time to take a nap.
JUST JOKING, time to LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST, or to the highest possible comparison to that of a normal person.
How Chandler Escaped
She tries about 6+ times…her 7th and final escape occurs around 1:30 if you wanna skip 1.5 minutes of cuteness!
I consider myself lucky to dream more often than not, or more precisely, to remember my dreams well and be able to remember them after I wake up.
I think the most fulfilling part of my dreams is spending time with people I no longer have in my life. I don’t mean the deceased…I mean people that have been part of my life in the past and aren’t now. Dreams are timeless, they can reflect the people or situations you’re in now or they can take you to a different time, a different life. There are people that you don’t regularly think about, people that you may have been close to once which might as well have been a lifetime ago. I find quite a bit on enjoyment in spending time with these people in my dreams. It’s not so much during the dream, where you’re doing/trying to do some random thing that seems to make sense to your dream self, in your dream. It’s when you wake up and think: “I haven’t thought of this person in so long, why was he/she in my dreams last night?”. Putting the rapidly fading memory of the dream into order to try to solve the puzzle of why. Why am I consciously or subconsciously thinking about this person. I like that my subconscious is giving my conscious things to think about. Why it does so, I don’t know. Maybe it’s hinting at something I want, maybe it’s hinting at something I lost and can never reclaim, maybe it’s giving me a world that can never be. It’s always giving me a reality that isn’t my actual reality.
What I remember about a dream isn’t the specifics, what I was doing, where I was. It’s who I was with. And the relationship with a person that’s no longer shared.
There’s a person I knew a few months ago. She told me that she wouldn’t remember specific events in her life, specific visual details. She wouldn’t remember when something occurred or why. She would remember the way she felt.
I thought it was a bit bizarre, I’d never heard of anything like that. But after a few months, I realize that this is how I remember my dreams. With a feeling. An indescribable feeling….one that carries with it memories of a previous relationship, an imaginary new dynamic, and a feeling that something is different…but not really.
I’m so confused as I write this, describing what I would call an indescribable feeling.
What also interests me is that: if I’m dreaming and these people are entering my head, who out there is having a dream with me in their dream? And I know this is a complete unrealistic possibility but, is it possible we’re in the same dream, meeting in the dream, in some level of subspace (damn you Scott Pilgrim for giving this location a name….). If you haven’t seen Scott Pilgrim, I imagine this place of meeting within the same dream is “limbo”, from Inception. I know the idea is absurd but when I wake from a dream and start thinking about it….sometimes the idea entertains me.
You know…this post was really difficult to write. Years ago, I wouldn’t have understood what I was talking about but I’ve been analyzing my dreams lately and….I don’t know, I imagine someone out there is feeling the same way. Someone who understands what I’m talking about….someone who knows the feeling I’m feeling. Like a connection…when one never existed. Like something of a dream.
I hate people. They suck.
Every now and then, the people I trust or let down my guard with disappoint me. I’m fortunate that I have some/enough good friends who never disappoint. But the majority of people I meet/know don’t live up to my expectations and piss me off.
I hate when pathetic people look down on me when their lives are such a joke. They laugh at the stuff I’m doing or the interests I have. They look down at me from upon a pedestal of immaturity and insecurity. I’m too nice to point that sh!t out back at them, I let them carry out their demeaning talk and hold in all the terrible, hurtful things I could/should? say.
My life is a bit odd, yes. I’m a nerd and geek and people with an inferior intellect or a closed mind look down on that. They don’t take a moment to grasp things that are different, whatever isn’t what they think is normal, isn’t normal. It’s annoying as hell. Talking to close minded people.
You know, you go to elementary school and there are people like that. Hey, it’s elementary school. You go to high school and there are people like that. They’re set in their ways, it’s tough to change. You go to university and there aren’t people like that. The people around you are generally more like you than anyone else you’ve been around. You start to believe all adults are like that. That people are growing up. That people are mature, that people are intelligent, that there are people you respect and who respect you. And then you go to the work force and it’s like coming back to high school. The weeding process for the work environment is much more lenient than the weeding process in university. You get the same immaturity, the same stupidity. You also get mature adults, those who have grown up, those who may have been jerks in highschool but no longer act that way. And then you get the people that have just never changed. Socially/emotionally/intellectually stunted.
Sometimes I can’t figure out if deep down, I’m a nice guy or if deep down, I’m a hater. I try to be nice, I think I can pull off a fake “naturally nice”. But I’m not really that nice. I’m actually a bitter ol’ hater. Not because I just am, but because some of the people around me have made me so. There are just so many “highschool kids” out there and so few “university kids”…the geeks/nerds are always outnumbered and bullied.