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Warren Shea

I don’t believe

Tuesday, February 2nd, 2010 at 3:13 am

I don’t believe in heaven.
I don’t believe in hell.
I don’t believe in afterlife.
I don’t believe in soul mates.
I don’t believe in God.
I don’t believe in destiny.
I don’t believe in fate.
I don’t believe in time travel.
I don’t believe in superpowers.
I don’t believe in angels.
I don’t believe in demons.
I don’t believe in ghosts.
I don’t believe in unicorns.
I don’t believe in zombies.
I don’t believe in magic.
i don’t believe in prayer.
I don’t believe in reincarnation.

One item of possible controversy, my doubt of God. I believe there is no grand scheme of my life. Of anyone’s life. The decisions I make today are reflected in the journey I have tomorrow. I have faith in myself. I am tested by no one. I serve no one. I am me.

boku ni tsubasa

Tuesday, February 2nd, 2010 at 3:04 am

Van – Escaflowne
Hikaru – Angelic Layer
Daisuke Niwa – DNAngel
Wing Zero – Gundam Wing
Rinoa Heartily – Final Fantasy VIII
Angemon, Angewoman, Magna Angemon – Digimon
Rei Ayanami – Neon Genesis Evangelion

All of these characters have one thing in common. Something I have a particular fascination with. The reason why Angemon, Angewoman, Magna Angemon are my favorite Digimon. The reason I have a Wing Zero wallpaper at work and Rinoa Heartily wallpaper at work and at home. The reason I have Wing Zero toys scattered around work and home. The reason why Rei Ayanami is my twitter background.

Angelic Wings.

boku ni tsubasa
“give me wings”

Writing discoveries! Mood and passion affect writing…

Tuesday, February 2nd, 2010 at 12:49 am

This is probably obvious to someone that writes a lot but as this (writing) is brand new territory, it’s a new discovery to me.

I wrote a bunch of different blog posts today, none of which were particularly written well and none of which I was satisfied in posting.

My mind is dull. Clear. Empty. Unfocused.

I posted a bit of a downer post yesterday, at least it was a downer for me, but I removed it. I will try not to post about things that are written with negativity. Negativity and hate spread easily and I will not be someone that brings someone else down.

I’ve also discovered that I’ve got at least 4 (somewhat) distinct ways of writing.

One is proper. The case is correct, the sentences are well thought out and formatted. “You” is spelt “You”. I look for synonyms and re-read sentences repeatedly to ensure a concise point.

One is lazy. i don’t cap my i’s. “You” is spelt “u”.

One is my thoughts, in almost pure form. I convey a pause in my thoughts with a “…” and I don’t go back and erase them. This is written on the fly. I notice that my blog lacks this type of writing but it’s very apparent in my IMs (instant messages) and twitter.

And the last one is the old me with a writing style of “well, i go back to skool in….2 days !! 2 !!!!!! ahhhhhh !!!!!” – taken directly from me on Jan 4, 2003. It’s funny how some of the style from 7 years ago is the same, but just…unrefined. I sure did love my exclamation marks back then. I must be getting old, no longer having the same enthusiasm as I did when I was younger.

Okay. I’m satisfied with this post. I sleep satisfied with today’s accomplishments and I will wake up and face tomorrow’s challenges.

When internet handles are no longer kool

Sunday, January 31st, 2010 at 10:39 pm

I’ve been guilty of a number of internet handles that, over time, just aren’t kool anymore

megasigmax – My first handle, a merging of Megaman X and Sigma (the main villain of the series)

megazeroxx – My alt handle, a merging of Megaman X and Zero of the same series. I thought it was an okay alt handle until my friend pointed out that a “mega” “zero” is actually pretty lame. I abandoned the name immediately, humiliated that I didn’t notice the obvious connection. Also, there are 2 “X”s. That’s just 1 short from being pr0n. I also didn’t notice that. Sigh.

azn_prometheus – Prometheus, the villain of the justice league in Grant Morrison’s run. Named after the Greek god, my spin by turning him into an Asian_Greek_god certainly didn’t make a whole lot of sense
(azn_prometheus – my old website from 2002)

ICQN – My deviantart handle (http://icqn.deviantart.com/). The idea was to make it like ICON, but the O was a Q, like a comic book chat bubble. Inside the Q, was the ICON. It was a failure because it’s too much like ICQ, which some still remember as one of the first popular instant messaging services. Also, is it ICON or ICQN? and why is there so much emphasis on ICON when it’s ICQN. This boggles even my mind.

This sig is on a Supergirl picture I colored hence the icon of the trademark S and the female symbol.

AEGIS – My Initial D arcade handle. Taken from Gate Keepers anime, this one was the most uncringable.

I’ve finally decided to abandon these childish names, of which I realize I was never particularly good at. My handles are now:

warrenshea or xuehualun (my chinese name)

At least it only took 25 years to learn this. In the next 25 years, I hope to learn:
1. How to put the toilet seat down and
2. Something about women. Anything.

****SIDE STORY****
Shea isn’t really a name of Chinese origin. It’s Irish. The story is that when my father came to Canada, they asked him how to pronounce his last name. My father, poor at English, said “Xue”, similar to Shea. The Americans asked him if “Shea” was okay, probably because they didn’t know how to spell “Xue”. My father agreed that it was okay. I learned later that it was one of his bigger regrets but at the time, it probably didn’t seem like such an important decision (?). I’ve sometimes felt like changing my last name back to Xue, not for heritage reason, but because it would be kool to be Warren Xue. Warren X.

Stranger: “Hello, what’re your name?”
Me: “Call me Mr. X”

WAH so kool !!!

I can sense everyone making a -_-; face and in disbelief at what they just read. I never claimed I wasn’t an idiot.

go to me for advice

Sunday, January 31st, 2010 at 4:02 pm

at least i make myself laugh.